When the Past Comes to Haunt Us
by Waffletime
Summary: Fire and smoke. Burns and misunderstanding. Nightmares from the past still too real to be forgiven. Natsume has to deal with a spirit who wants revenge. Will this spirit be so cruel that Natsume no longer believes that there is hope, that all spirits are evil? Will his view of Ayakashi change completely? Maybe the exorcist life isn't so bad. Matoba x Natsume.
1. Dream

Natsume yawned tiredly. The thought of a good night's rest was something he looked forward to. Natsume stepped out of the bath and let it drain. He quickly dried himself off to dress in his pajamas. Steam followed him as he sauntered down the hall to his room. Nyanko-sensei was missing, most likely gone out to drink. He collapsed onto his futon out of exhaustion, glad he'd finished his homework.

Finally, he was slipping away into unconsciousness. Dreams took him. Random images played in his mind. Meaningless images, not something Natsume was likely to remember. Then he started to dream of Ayakashi. These dreams were not uncommon. They were, after all, playing a large roll in his daily life. He dreamt of the Book of Friends, of Reiko. His thoughts trailed and chased each other like children played tag. Eventually, a strange scene was laid before him. There was a dark tall figure standing in a clearing, hidden by the darting shadows of burning trees.

Smoke and fire lit the night sky above them. Natsume could not see the stars anymore; the smoke covered them like a blanket. Natsume coughed. He was lying on his back, but didn't dare move. Fire surrounded him. There was no way to escape from this, he wasn't even sure if Nyanko-sensei would be able to save him. Natsume didn't realize he was dreaming, but how could he? The heat felt real; the bright orange and yellow seemed sharp as it stuck out and threatened to burn him from every direction. The dream was too vivid, too much like it could be reality.

Natsume's body was paralyzed, and he couldn't breath through the thick black smoke. He couldn't see the shadowy figure's face. And although this whole dream was frightening-the forest fire, the mysterious person standing a few yards away- there was one element that unsettled him more than those things.

The man, or figure, or ayakashi, whatever it was... was screaming. It was a scream that tore something in Natsume; it was so terrifyingly familiar. Like a scream Natsume _should_ know, but from where? And from when?

The figure collapsed on it's knees and cried out in rage. Natsume was sure he would lose his voice. The pain that came from the sound was unfakable. "Reiko!", it suddenly cried, "Natsume Reiko! How could you just leave me here to die?! YOU LIAR!" Natsume gasped. The use of Reiko's name shocked him.

The person's shoulders shook with sobs. Natsume stared in confusion. _Reiko? What does Reiko have to do with this?_ He knew his grandmother had bullied Ayakashi before, but it scared him to think that Reiko could hurt one this much. Which led him to think...was this another Ayakashi she took a name from? Could this suffering spirit still be bound to him?

"I should have never trusted a human...", it whispered bitterly. It stung more than any loud scream or anguished cry. Natsume could hear the bitterness in it's cracked voice, but knew by the way it spat out the last word that it just _had_ to be a spirit.

Suddenly the fire grew brighter, and the figure stood. What Natsume thought was it's head slowly looked over in his direction. He saw a glimmer of eyes through the black smoke. It came closer, staggering each step like an insane person. Natsume snapped out of his shock. He tried moving. He was on his back, lying on the ash-covered forest floor. It felt like some invisible force was pushing down on his chest. He couldn't help but panic as the spirit approached. It walked slowly toward him, giving Natsume a growing sense of dread. The spirit was no longer screaming, or crying out in pain, but instead held an eerie silence which certainly made Natsume feel worse.

Natsume squirmed and struggled, but stopped dead when he finally saw it's face. He gasped, and put a hand to cover his mouth. Burnt skin clung onto the left side of it's face. Some of it was still falling off, revealing the flesh underneath. There was so much blood. It rolled down and splattered the ground beneath it's feet.

The worst part about it was it's eyes...they held a heavy look of killer intention. Pure hatred. And he was looking right at Natsume. Natsume shivered and suddenly sat up, pushing off the invisible force with all his strength. He knew he was going to die if he didn't run. He turned, but somehow that thing was quicker. Natsume felt something force him down.

"Get off!" Natsume demanded, thrashing around in his sleep.

"Natsume," it said calmly. The voice was familiar, but he couldn't place it in his panic and desperation. He couldn't breath under the weight of the thing.

''Natsume," it said again, "Wake up, stick-boy."

"Huh?" Natsume suddenly stopped in confusion.

"Wake up!" Something slapped his cheek.

Natsume woke up with a gasp. He was short of breath, due to Madara suffocating him. The cat peered into his light eyes like he was trying to find out what he was thinking.

"Get...off my...chest," Natsume panted breathlessly, attempting to push the heavy cat off.

Madara complied, but not without scoffing. "Pathetic," Natsume heard him mutter. He curled back into the basket Natsume had made him, circling a few times before he was satisfied to lie back down. Natsume wondered when Madara had returned. He looked at the almost empty sake bottle Madara held.

"What was that for?" Natsume questioned as he sat up. There was a slight tone of annoyance in his voice.

"Look at the time," Madara said simply. Natsume huffed, but looked at the clock on his table, immediately gasping.

"I'm going to be late!" he cried, throwing the covers off. He dressed on record time and gathered all his homework, shooting down the stairs. Touko side stepped when he almost bumped into her.

"Natsume!" she gasped in surprise, then laughed. "Here, take this," she said, handing him a delicious smelling egg roll and a paper bag which Natsume assumed had his lunch in it.

"T-thank you," he said gratefully. He put his shoes on and turned back to her. "Do you need me to pick up anything?"

Touko smiled and shook her head. "Not today, Natsume-Kun. Just be safe."

 _I can't promise you that_. He waved to her as he opened the door. "Bye, Touko! I'll see you later!"

"Have a good day, Natsume!" she called, waving back to him. Natsume closed the door and ran down the street, hoping that he wouldn't run into any spirits. He was definitely going to be late if he got delayed like that.


	2. Follow

Rain was starting to splatter on the sidewalks, and Natsume ran faster. He had a lot of running experience because spirits tended to chase him, and even more so, now that word was getting out he had the Book of Friends. It made him wonder if his friend Natori ever had to run from crowds of girls or paparazzi. Certainly not ayakashi. Ayakashi would run from him. _Everybody wants something_.

He hurriedly walked up a street, knowing there was a shortcut through the woods just up ahead. He could take it, but usually tended to find a spirit in the woods more often than on public streets. He'd be fine, he thought. He'd taken this route several times before. He passed a few people with umbrellas while he was on the trail, wishing he had one.

A shiver ran up his spine and Natsume felt as though eyes were following him. Madara was teaching him how to sense presences, and it was somewhere in the trees, watching. Natsume ran faster. The strange presence, however, had no trouble keeping up. By the time he had almost reached the edge of the forest, Natsume was panting and completely out of breath from running so hard. He didn't stop, however; rather just the opposite. He sped up when he finally saw the top of the school building. Relief washed through him. It wasn't until he was at the gate that he finally decided to stop running. Just to be safe. Nishimura and Kitamoto where already there and they watched as Natsume bent over and clasped his knees. He was so out of breath, but somehow managed to ask, "Why...are...you guys out here?"

Kitamoto laughed. "There's still twenty minutes before school starts," he explain in an amused voice. They both eyed him curiously. Natsume looked up at them in confusion.

"What? But...I thought I was going to be late." _Was I really running that fast? But the spirit kept up with me with no problem...was it just my imagination?_

"Oh well," said Nishimura, "I guess we should go inside anyway. It's about to rain." They started toward the school and Natsume followed closely. He glanced behind him. He thought he saw a flash of blue move in the forest trees. Natsume stopped in his tracks and blinked, but whatever he saw was no longer there.

He stood, staring at the trees until Nishimura and Kitamoto noticed he wasn't by their side anymore. They called to him, which snapped him out of his trance and he looked toward them instead. Natsume gave a small smile as they urged him to catch up and ran to the doors they waited next to. He saw Tanuma up ahead. Tanuma spotted him as well and waved with a small grin. The group chatted until the bell sounded and the teacher walked in.

The rest of his day was uneventful. Natsume pondered taking the shortcut again, just to see what was following him, but decided against it. He would take the long way to stay out of trouble and to not get his uniform dirty.

When school finally ended, Natsume walked with Tanuma. They talked and laughed until they had to go their separate ways, waving to each other. Natsume was only halfway home, and was alone. No spirits seemed to be around, so that was good. The air was humid from the rain, and Natsume couldn't help but notice the soaked sidewalks as he walked with his head down. He couldn't wait to get back home. It had been a peaceful past couple of days, and it was nice to just relax in his room.

Suddenly Natsume shivered. The presence from earlier was back. He quickly looked around and saw nothing out of the ordinary. There were a few people on the other side of the street, but other than that...

Natsume closed his eyes and focused. There was a soft breeze and he took a deep breath. He felt it, following closely behind him. Was it stalking him? Maybe it wanted the book of friends. Natsume gripped the strap of his bag as tightly as he could and kept walking, pretending like nothing happened. Sure enough, the presence followed him. It made no attempt to attack him, and it didn't reveal itself. What was it doing? Waiting for a perfect moment? Natsume thought it was a perfect moment himself, after all, he was alone, without Nyanko-sensei, he had the book of friends, and there were little to know people on the street. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, considering no one would be able to see what was attacking him.

These thoughts made Natsume nervous, but he tried not to show it as the uncomfortable presence followed him. Was it trying to find out where he lived? Natsume stopped abruptly. Why hadn't he thought of that earlier? It was a good possibility. What could he do? Diverge it? How? It would follow him wherever he went, obviously. Natsume decided to take a turn down a street he wasn't too familiar with. He felt stupid for not realizing it's intentions sooner. He had only been a block away, what if he had almost put the Fujiwara's in danger?

Natsume thought of what he could do. He couldn't go home, but he had to be back soon. He suddenly wished that Nyanko-sensei was with him. Maybe it would be tempted to reveal itself if Natsume walked to someplace less public. He headed for the forest and picked up his pace. This was the only option, for now.


	3. Hiso

"I know you're there", Natsume said when he finally stopped. He was somewhere in the middle of the woods, a little far from the path he found. There were no people, and no one would be able to hear him if he screamed. If this didn't get the spirit to show itself, he didn't know what would. Maybe by some lucky miracle Nyanko-sensei would find him.

He waited.

The sun lowered and time tortured him. He was growing a little tired, but never loosed the grip on his bag. Natsume couldn't help but feel a little terrified as the dread grew in his stomach. He could feel it, so close, so calm. What was it thinking? This was not the usual spirit Natsume would run into. They usually didn't give their attacks any thought, but this one's intentions were a little unclear, like it had been planning this for a while. Finally Natsume heard a small thump behind him, as if someone jumped from a tree. It had decided. Natsume turned around slowly.

It was tall; almost looked human except for the nasty burns covering it's face. Natsume's eyes widened and couldn't help but gasp. It was the same thing he had seen in his dream, but now it's face was healed and scared. The spirit had red hair and golden eyes which stared calmly at Natsume.

"Hello, Natsume," it said with a strange pleasantness. The spirit gave a sinister smile.

A chill ran up Natsume's spine. He took a step back.

"So you could sense me all along. I was starting to wonder if you lived in the woods, but it seems you realized my intention of finding where you stay."

"What do you want from me?" Natsume questioned. He just wanted to get this over with and go home.

"Why don't I just introduce myself first? I'm sure you're interested in my 'name'. The Natsume Reiko I knew most certainly would have been, Takashi."

Natsume winced, remembering his dream. "You knew my grandmother?"

"And I know you're not her, just her _grandson_... to my bitter disappointment. I've heard a lot of things about you, Takashi. You most certainly have a reputation for helping spirits in need..." his eyes trailed down to the ground, then he looked back up into Natsume's eyes. Natsume's brows furrowed and his mouth hung open in shock of hearing about his grandmother. "What I want won't be that hard to figure out. It's something everyone wants when someone else has caused them great pain."

"Revenge...", Natsume said, "What did Reiko do to you?"

Hiso's smile fell. He looked darkly at Natsume and took a slow step toward him. "These burns...were caused by her. She made a fool of me, pretended like she cared, then left me at the perfect moment."

Natsume staggered backward. Hiso smiled brightly again; Natsume wouldn't have been able to tell he was talking about the person he hated most.

"Now then", he said clapping his hands together, "my name is Hiso, and I'm going to destroy everything and everyone you have ever loved."

Natsume flinched. He said it with such misplaced cheerfulness. Natsume suddenly felt sick. _Everyone you have ever loved...The Fujiwara's, his friends, Nyanko-sensei..._ Why? Why was this happening to him? One of Natsume's worst fears was becoming more real with every second that Hiso stood in front of him, threatening to hurt people he cared about.

"Although it was a pretty good move to lure me away from your home, I'm still going to find them, and I can kill you right here, right now. So it wasn't very smart of you. Of course I'm not going to kill you, _yet_ , because I want you to feel the pain and loss I have felt. Except it will be worse, since I didn't get to have my revenge on Reiko directly."

Natsume felt himself go pale. "Don't you dare touch them", he said through gritted teeth. Natsume had never been so scared in his entire life, and couldn't help it when he started shaking.

"You'll never be able to be more than a nuisance to your friends and family, don't you get that?"

Natsume curled his hands into fists. "You're wrong." His eyes glared icily at the ayakashi.

"You honestly think they would care if you get hurt by some Ayakashi? If anything they'd hope for it. All you'd ever do is scare them. In they're eyes, you'd be a freak, a burden, some abnormality in their lives that they hope will just go away already!"

"You're wrong", he said in a hushed whisper. His voice was quiet but piercing.

"I'm wrong? Is that all you can say?" Hiso bent backward and started laughing. "Then prove it. Show me how much they care. Go up to Touku-san and tell her what you see everyday. Tell her you've almost been killed several times by them. You honestly think they won't look at you any differently? Do you honestly think they won't give you away like every single goddamn person you've lived with before?! The only reason you've been able to stay with them is because you've contained your secret so well. They don't care about you. They don't love you. And you will never be loved by anyone. I'll personally make sure of that."

"You're wrong! Touku and Shigeru are different. My friends...they...they wouldn't hate me. They would worry, that's why I can't tell them. You don't understand, that's why-"

Suddenly Natsume felt a strong hand wrap around his neck. Hiso pushed him up against a tree and it knocked all the air out of Natsume. He dug his nails into Hiso's hand, but his grip only tightened more around Natsume's neck. He struggled with legs dangling in air. "Believe what you will, but you can't deny how much danger you put them in by staying."

Natsume's vision started going black. His nails started loosening on Hiso's skin, and his legs suddenly stopped kicking. It was like a terrifying nightmare. Where was Nyanko-sensei? This spirit could take the book of friends and kill him. Natsume's eyes fluttered shut. If that was the case, then Natsume couldn't take it anymore. He was going to die, and the fate of all those Ayakashi would be controlled by this psycho. That was NOT going to happen. With the last of his strength, Natsume kicked Hiso in the stomach and grabbed his arm to twist it. Hiso grabbed Natsume's shirt and threw him so he slammed against a nearby tree. He felt the breath being knocked out of him, and landed on the dirt. He groaned and pushed himself up, eyes never leaving Hiso's towering figure.

"I don't know why you're doing this", he started, "I just know you can't kill me yet. I have a lot of debts to pay that my grandmother made, and until I am done repaying those debts, I won't let you hurt me. You're wrong about me, and about all of my friends." He slowly stood up, supporting himself on the tree, and stared defiantly into the ayakashi's eyes.

Hiso smirked. He calmly loomed over Natsume, with a strange look on his face. A small smile played on his lips. Natsume never lost his cold gaze, not even when Hiso grabbed his neck and held him above the ground again.

"That's going to be very hard, you see. I just want to your life to end already. You better hope I'm not wrong about your friends, otherwise..." He gave a small chuckle.

"I'll kill them."

He let go oh the hold he had on Natsume's neck. Natsume fell onto the grass, coughing and gasping for air. Natsume gingerly touched his neck and looked up to see Hiso walking away. "Why?", Natsume choked out, "Why would you want to do this? What have I done to you?"

Hiso stopped walking and turned his head to look at Natsume. "It's not what you did, Natsume. It's what you're grandmother did. But since she's dead, this is the only form of revenge I get. It's really too bad." He turned his head away from Natsume and started walking once more. "I would have liked to see the life fade from her insolent eyes. We'll meet again soon, Natsume. But next time you won't have any exorcist friends coming to save you."

Natsume rose from the ground. "Exorcist friends?" he questioned, looking around. Hiso was gone in a flash, and Natsume almost collapsed again. He gripped his arm. _Pain._

Where was his bag? He wasn't sure when it had fallen off of him. Natsume searched the forest floor and spotted it next to the tree Hiso had thrown him against. He sighed in relief, and reached out for it, but suddenly someone stepped out from behind the tree and grabbed it. Natsume gasped and froze when he saw who it was.


	4. Exorcist Friends

"Well, well. Natsume, we really should stop finding each other like this, don't you think?" Matoba smirked and lightly swung Natsume's bag back and forth.

"Matoba..." Natsume took a step back. His natural instinct would be to run away, but he couldn't. Not when the book of friends was so close to being discovered. His hand made a swipe at it, but failed when Matoba simply held it out of reach.

"It seems like you still don't trust me, Natsume. I was hoping you'd find me a little less hostile, considering I just saved you from a greatly feared ayakashi." His eyes slowly looked over Natsume, noticing all the scratches on his hands and face. Not to mention the dirt on his uniform. His smirk formed into a smile. "Why don't you come over to my branch house? You should take some time to heal and get your wounds checked."

"I'm not going anywhere with you, and you can't force me."

"Then I suppose you don't need your bag back?" Matoba questioned.

Natsume couldn't help it and let the fear show on his face. Matoba noticed this and tilted his head. "I wonder what is in here that could possibly be so precious to you?"

Natsume said the first thing that he could think of. "It-It's a...love letter." Once he said the words he instantly regretted them. Matoba laughed. Natsume wasn't sure he's ever heard Matoba laugh before. What did this mean?

"And just who were you going to give it to?" Matoba asked, clearly amused.

"Well, what makes you think I was giving it to anyone? Maybe someone gave it to me," Natsume countered.

"Ah, I didn't think you were much of a romantic." His smile fell. He held out Natsume's bag for him to take.

"I felt bad; throwing it away didn't seem very nice," Natsume said, adding onto his lie and taking his bag. He felt relieved.

Natsume took it back without looking Matoba in the eye. He'd had enough nonsense for today, but he couldn't go back to Touku and Shigeru looking like this. Maybe he could just sneak in through his window, but he remembered he'd locked it last night so no spirits would come in. And where was Nyanko-sensei?

"You realize you'll only worry them if you come back looking like that, I can see some bruises on your neck." It was as if Matoba had read his mind. He couldn't come home. He'd never been this badly injured and now the pain was starting to get to him. His hands balled into fists of frustration.

"It can't be worse than practically being forced to join the Matoba clan," Natsume argued.

Matoba crossed his arms. "I won't mention anything about my desire for you to join. I just want you to rest, no matter how hard that may be to believe."

Natsume scoffed and took a step back. "That is hard to believe", Natsume stated. "I'd prefer to not risk appearing on a missing children's case."

Suddenly a strong burst of wind came and pushed Natsume forward. Natsume fell, but Matoba caught him before he could hit the ground.

"Matoba!" yelled a strong and familiar voice. _Madara_ , Natsume thought, _finally_.

Motoba held on tighter to Natsume. "Let me go!" Natsume struggled to push him away, or to at least turn around so that he wasn't facing Matoba. This was kind of...

"That's not very nice, Natsume," he stated. The man was smirking down at him.

"You had better let go of my prey, or I won't show mercy, Matoba," Madara stated fiercely.

"I would hope so, kitty. Don't think I can't hold my own against you. Natsume most certainly did; against the spirit that was attacking him earlier. Too bad you weren't there to see it. Aren't you his protector? You're quite lousy at your job. But I guess you really are just like every other spirit."

Madara growled, and got into a pouncing form. "You-," he started, jumping into the air with infuriated eyes.

"Stop!" Natsume yelled, and Madara stopped abruptly, but not without making a confused expression.

"Matoba," Natsume looked up at him, "What can you tell me about that spirit?"

He loosened his hold on the boy. "A few things," he stated. "But not here, Natsume."

Natsume stared a little longer at Matoba. He worried that he'd have to go through a bit of what he went through last time he was stuck at one of Matoba's branch houses, trying to escape and sneaking around, but what other choice did he have? He couldn't go home, or he could go home with injures showing, which he didn't want to happen. He could hide them, but then where would he find out about this spirit?

"Will you let me go back home?" he questioned honestly.

"Of course," Matoba stated calmly. His eye didn't look away from Natsume, but he let go of him. Natsume didn't try to run, even though he could. He didn't feel a need to.

"Madara," he called, "You should change back into your normal form."

"What?" Madara seemed infuriated. He hesitated, and stared at Natsume in disbelief. He glanced at Matoba, and looked back at his prey. Natsume wasn't kidding. He seemed to mouth, ' _trust me'._

Finally, he complied with an exasperated growl. There a small little poof of smoke and he was back into a pudgy cat. Natsume was relieved, but tried not to show it while he was in front of Matoba.

"Shall we go?" Matoba said with a small smile. Natsume nodded slowly, a little in shock of his own actions. He was actually going with Matoba willingly. He looked over at Madara, who stared at him with what seemed like utter seriousness. He jumped into Natsume's arms, forcing him to carry him as a slight punishment (which they both knew was just a façade to cover his guilt of not being there earlier to help Natsume).

They walked in silence, the only sounds being the crunching of leaves fallen earlier from the trees. Matoba seemed to know exactly where he was going, because in no time they reached the edge of the forest. They stepped out from under the shade of the trees and saw a black car waiting for them on the side of the road.

Natsume got in, finding it odd that Matoba was alone in these woods. He would have expected his Shiki to be around, at least, or other exorcists. Maybe they were; Natsume didn't care about it as much as he wanted to find out about Hiso.

"It seems like he has a slight grudge against you," Matoba says as they start to pick up speed.

 _'I wouldn't call it slight',_ Natsume thinks. "It's something to do with my grandmother," he mumbles. He pretends to be looking out the window, but keeps Matoba in his field of vision just enough to see him slightly shift in the leather seat.

"We could offer you protection, Natsume, we-"

"I thought you said you just wanted my injuries to be checked," Natsume cuts him off with slight annoyance.

"I do, but do you honestly think that was just a one-time thing? It's going to come again, and that will most likely happen at your home," Matoba states with seriousness laced in his voice.

Natsume stiffens. "Just stop, please," he requests, thinking that he shouldn't have to. He could feel Matoba staring at him, and turned more to make himself smaller. He watched as the forest trees rushed past them, wanting to be somewhere else. He felt Madara adjust himself comfortably on his lap. What if that spirit hurt the Fujiwara's? _Everyone you have loved...I'll kill them..._

Hiso's words played in his head and he desperately tried to think of something else. The rest of the drive was quiet, and Natsume secretly wished it wasn't. When they finally arrived he was glad to get out of that car. He watched it drive away, hoping his worries were going with it.


	5. Call them

He stared up at the tall mansion in awe. It was even bigger than the last one, and a lot prettier. "This is... _another_ branch house?" he asked as they strolled across the large courtyard.

He caught Matoba giving a small, whispery laugh as he led them inside. They passed several exorcists; all seemingly busy but giving a respectful nod to Matoba as they passed. Natsume wondered if he would have to do that if _he_ ever joined. He unconsciously shook his head. _What am I thinking? I would never be a part of this._

It wasn't all that different from the last mansion he'd been to, except the halls were wider and more confusing. Matoba was obviously very familiar with it.

"How many are there, anyway?" Natsume asked under his breath. He didn't realized he'd spoken out loud and was surprised to hear Matoba's deep voice answer back.

"Of what?" he asked smoothly. Natsume almost ran into him when Matoba suddenly stopped. Matoba glanced down at him with what seemed like amusement, then opened a sliding door and ushered him in. Natsume ducked his head to hide his heating cheeks.

"Of branch houses..." Natsume said quietly. He looked around. It was a large room with a bed and a desk to the left of it. There was a table with a small arrangement of flowers, and a white rug under it. It reminded Natsume of a hotel room; welcoming yet unfamiliar. Western style.

"About 14," Matoba stated casually. Natsume rolled his eyes and held back a scoff of annoyance.

"Why are there so many?" Natsume asked curiously. He mentally slapped himself. This new curiosity was probably only encouraging Matoba's desire of wanting him to join.

"It's convenient, and I never said I wasn't rich," he explained. Matoba turned around and started walking away. "Wait here," he said, closing the sliding door behind him.

"Where else would I go?" Natsume replied, only because he knew Matoba wouldn't hear him.

Natsume stared at the door, unsure of what he should do with himself. He walked over to the bed and set Madara down, giving him a chance to stretch his arms. He couldn't help but notice Madara was unusually quiet.

"What's wrong, Nyanko sensei?" he asked softly, lightly petting his head.

"This house...makes me feel a little sick. I think it's because of all the seals. It's not so bad, though," he said with a small groan. Natsume continued petting him and eventually sat on the bed. It was very soft, the sheets were luring him into eternal sleep. He wanted to forget today's events. What if Hiso wasn't bluffing? Touko and Shigeru would be in a lot of trouble.

Natsume didn't notice when Matoba walked back in. His steps were barely audible against the wooden floor, and Natsume flinched when he reached out to examine his neck. Natsume looked up at him.

"Let me look at those bruises," he requested. Natsume stared at him a moment longer, then nodded.

He sat up straight and raised his head so Matoba could see his neck. His fingers brushed against his skin and Natsume didn't like the feeling. He remembered when Matoba had once choked him, thinking he was a spirit, and involuntarily shivered at the thought. Matoba's hand retreated.

"Am I cold?" he asked, rubbing his hands as if to warm them.

"N-no. It just...reminded me..." Natsume trailed off, not really wanted to explain. He looked down at the floor and avoided his eyes.

Matoba smiled. "You should just rest for now. I brought something for you to change into, if you want," he said, putting a plain white yukata on the bed.

Natsume stared at it in realization. He wasn't here to get comfortable. Natsume shook his head and stood up. "No, Matoba. I'm not staying." He brushed past the man, but Matoba turned and firmly grasped his arm.

"Natsume," he started, "If you leave to go home the ayakashi you just encountered will follow you. I can protect you, but only if you stay." Matoba gazed at him intensely.

Natsume gave him a long, leery look. He'd never felt more frustrated in his life. He harshly freed his arm and looked back at Matoba with defiance. Matoba was right, though.

"Fine." Natsume couldn't help but wonder if Touko would be worried. He looked out the window. The sun was about to set behind the forest and he still wasn't home. Maybe the worry was showing on his face, because Matoba spoke again.

"Do you want to call them?"

Natsume's eyes widened in surprise. That was the last thing he ever expected Matoba to ask him. He relaxed as he understood why. "It's no risk to you this time."

"Of course," he said with a small smirk. "...but I don't think it ever was. Not even the times I've held you with force." Natsume visibly tensed. Well, at least he admitted it. But he wasn't sure what he meant by that.

"Why is that?" he questioned with a sick feeling.

"Because, Natsume," he said with a sigh, "You would never ask them for help anyway. Of course you want to maintain your secret, but it's more than that anyway. You don't even come to your friends who know what you really are." He took a step closer and took his hands out of his pockets. "But you wouldn't have to worry about depending on me, Natsume."

It was a good point. But Matoba was not a good man. He studied the pale, looming face which stared back. From the gently sinister smile to the broken promise of a right eye. Then Natsume looked away.

"I can't."

Matoba raised his chin and leaned away, the way a parent who was about to scold a child. But he didn't scold. Instead, "There's a phone in the desk", he pointed. "You must be very good at making excuses by now. It would be nice though...If you didn't have to lie all the time."

Natsume stiffened. "Stop," he warned.

Matoba put up his hands in defense. "Go ahead, then. Tell them what happened. You can't live like this forever, Natsume."

Natsume wasn't sure what had made him do it. He took the pillow closest to him and threw it straight at Matoba. Matoba caught it easily; years of training in dealing with ayakashi was a cause of good reflexes.

As if Natsume didn't hate himself already, though. If he lied, it was like he was almost betraying their trust. If he ever told them the truth, he would just worry them. Natsume glared at Matoba. "Maybe you're right about that, but you're wrong about ayakashi. That's why I will never join your clan. There are a lot of good ayakashi out there. You can't just measure them by how convenient they are."

It was Matoba's turn to be angry. The next thing Natsume knew, he felt a firm hand take his wrist and pull him up roughly. He leaned over Natsume a little too closely. Madara suddenly rose, looking ready to pounce. Matoba ignored him and looked Natsume in the eyes. "What did that spirit say to you, Natsume?" he asked, "I highly doubt he was trying to be friendly."

Natsume tried to pull his wrist from Matoba's grasp. He pushed his chest away, but it was completely pointless. "It's like you're trying to earn my trust, but then you do this. Let me go!"

Madara growled. Matoba gave him a single glance and looked back at Natsume, shoving him back on the bed but letting go of his wrist. Natsume didn't move.

He could hear Matoba leaving without word, letting the sliding door shut a bit harder than was necessary. Natsume stared at the ceiling in emptiness. He closed his eyes and heaved a sigh. Time to call the Fujiwara's.

He slid off the bed and sauntered over to the desk. He opened the first drawer, and sure enough, a phone was in there. He picked it up, and dialed.

"Hello?" Touko's voice answered. The happiness in it sounded strained.

"Touko," Natsume said, "I'm sorry, I-"

"Natsume!" she cried in relief. "Oh, I'm sorry for the outburst, but we were getting a little worried. I was about to call Tanuma."

He wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to tell her he was at one of Matoba's mansions, that a spirit named Hiso was after him, that they had to be on the look out because it threatened to hurt them. Natsume wanted to say something, anything, but couldn't. It was probably not something that could be said over the phone, anyway.

"It's okay," he started, "I'm at Tanuma's. I'm really sorry, it took me a while to get to a phone. Is it all right if I spend the night?"

She gave a small laugh, this time not sounding forced. "Yes. I wouldn't want you to walk home at this hour. Do you have everything you need for school tomorrow?"

"Yes," he said quietly, looking at his bag lying on the side of the bed.

"That's good. Come home tomorrow, though. Maybe Tanuma can have dinner with us," she suggested.

"Y-yeah. That would be nice, I'll ask him. Goodnight, Touko," he said.

"Goodnight, Natsume-kun. Have a good day tomorrow," she said cheerfully.

"Bye."

 _Beep._

He called Tanuma next. He told him a spirit was after him, that he had to lay low for awhile, and asked if Tanuma could cover for him. Tanuma seemed happy to do it, in fact, relieved that Natsume was actually asking him a favor. Natsume never liked the thought of being a burden to his friends, but maybe he was starting to see he wasn't burdening them at all.

He hung up in finality and closed the drawer. It was night now, and Natsume walked over to his bed. He unbuttoned his shirt and took off his dirty clothes, putting on the Yukata Matoba had brought for him. He put his clothes in his bag, which he hid under the bed. It was a little strange, to sleep in a bed and room he wasn't used to. He wondered if he would not be able to sleep at all, but the softness of the bed said otherwise.

Madara was asleep; the seals were probably draining his energy. Natsume scooped him up. He was worried for Madara, but knew he was one tough spirit and that he would be fine. That gave him comfort. Natsume softly petted Madara's fur and lied down. He placed Nyanko-sensei next to himself and pulled the covers over. It was was completely quiet now.

Natsume tried not to think about his worries. He breath deeply and closed his eyes, letting the calmness of the room lull him to sleep. He missed home already, but at least he knew they were safe. That was enough. For now.


	6. Breakfast

Hello~ I just want to take a moment to acknowledge the wonderful reviewers~

 **LaelMae-** Thank you soooo much! I have to say I'm a bit of a fan. I really love the stories you've made, especially _Timing_ and _The Fleeting Lives of Cherry Blossom._ Both are so awesome. I love the way you write. I just don't know how you do it, it's amazing. Thank you, I was really hoping I was getting their characters right. Sooooo important. And coming from you, it's even better. I love you, you're incredible, and thanks so much for the honest critique!

 **bakasugii-** Here's the new chapter! I hope it's even better than my last. I really don't want to make the story boring, so I appreciate you calling it interesting. I'm really excited for this story. I love Natsume Yuujinchou , I don't think that they're done with the series, but they sure are taking their damn time. This is simply what I do meanwhile. Your comment made my day, and inspired me to keep on top of my writing. Thank you!

 **BOOKSRL1FE-** I've been wanting to do this for a long time, and it's definitely going to be MatobaxNatsume. I love the pairing. It's so dark, but it's also pretty damn hot (: Natsume Yuujinchou deserves to have more fanfictions, especially MatobaNatsume. Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm so happy that you love it so far and I really hope you like this chapter too! Thank you! ;D

 **Crow** \- Wow, thank you. I think it's always good when a writer has their own style and I'm glad you enjoy it so much. I notice when I read different books by different authors they always do sound a bit different from each other, I was hoping someone would comment on it, so thank you a million times! That made me really happy, because I write for you guys and I want to do my best. You're awesome, and thank you for that beautiful comment! :)

 **bloodyrabit89** -I know, right? While I was reading the manga I was thinking it could totally pass for MatobaxNatsume This manga is perfect for me (and the anime too) because it's not obvious but it has a lot of potential for that pairing to be real. I really hope it ends up being MatobaNatsume as canon, even if it's just a small fling I don't care. (Sorry, fangirling, I'll shut up now) ;D Thank you for the wonderful review! You're amazing!

 **Aidaedalus** -Oh, wow, what a wonderful review! Yours is the longest so far, so thank you for giving me good critique and putting a lot of thought into it, that was so sweet of you and it made my day. I'm so glad and happy to know that my fanfiction is refreshing. I love getting their characters right, so I go back and re-read the manga and watch the anime so I can better understand the characters and try and see through their eyes. Natsume Yuujinchou was so touching and wonderful and I'm so excited to present to you chapter 6. Thank you for the wonderful review! Your support means the world!

(btw I wrote some of this while listening to the Natsume Yuujinchou opening)

* * *

Natsume wasn't sure what had woken him up. Maybe it was the smoke going into his lungs. That certainly was more likely than the crackling or the glow of the flames, because he had started coughing.

He had completely forgotten that he had been in Matoba's mansion, so he wasn't surprised to find that he was at home, in his room. What was more worrying at the moment was the fact that fire was climbing the walls and that there was no way out.

"Touko! Shigeru!" he yelled. What if they were still asleep? He stayed low on the floor and brought his shirt up to cover his mouth. If the fire didn't kill him first, the smoke definitely would.

He looked around. There were flames around his window, across the ceiling, blocking the doors. Then an urging thought crossed his mind. _Where was the Book of Friends? Was it okay?_ Natsume looked at his desk.

It was there, burning.

He stared in horror.

"NO!" he screamed. He lunged for it, but before he could get to it a large puff of black smoke shot out. Natsume stumbled back and fell, staring up and the dark mass. It wasn't a normal smoke. It loomed over the Book of Friends, and two golden eyes appeared.

The dark form turned into Hiso, who was standing in the flames. He picked up the book of friends, still on fire.

"Give it back!" Natsume screamed in rage. Hiso smirked.

"They're already dead," he said in a matter-of-fact way. He took out a page, which was crumbling into ash.

"Stop it! It's not completely burned! Please! They're innocent!" Natsume begged. Natsume heard the ceiling starting to give in. He looked up, then back at Hiso with disbelieving eyes.

"Everything a Natsume touches... no longer has innocence." Hiso threw the names into the fire.

The ceiling collapsed.

* * *

Then he woke up.

Natsume gasped and fell out of the bed with a loud _thump_. Nyanko-Sensei opened one eye, not paying much attention to Natsume. Still, though. He was a _little_ curious.

He watched as Natsume unsteadily stood back up. The boy looked pale. He put one hand on the desk, as if to balance himself.

"What are you doing, stick boy?" Madara stood and stretched out his short little legs.

"That's the second dream I've had..." he said breathlessly, "...but it was only a dream..." He looked at Madara. Natsume lifted his robes just a little to kneel down and search for his book bag under the bed. He set it down next to Madara and opened it. Natsume was relieved to find the Book of Friends was still intact. He let out the breath he'd been holding with a sigh of happiness. He had to return the names quickly. Hopefully Hiso didn't actually know about the book of friends. He was putting all those spirits in so much danger by having an enemy like him.

Natsume stuffed the book of friends back into his bag and set it on the floor next to him. He wondered how early it was, looking out the window.

"What can we do about that guy, Sensei?" Natsume asked as he kneeled by the bed. He was eye-level with Madara. Natsume was secretly glad to see that Nyanko-sensei was looking better.

"What was his name?" Madara questioned, yawning.

"Hiso..." Natsume said quietly. He tried not to think about the dream.

"He sounds familiar. A spirit Reiko knew, I think. There are rumors he would start fires, so one day Reiko took away his name, or something like that." Madara rolled over. "I want Sake!" he whined.

Natsume hit him in annoyance. "It's still morning, you stupid cat." He rubbed his temple and closed his eyes.

Suddenly he felt a paw slap him across the face. "You shouldn't talk to your teachers like that, stick boy," he growled.

"You shouldn't have so much Sake," he countered, pulling his fur.

Natsume and Madara both jumped in surprise as the door to his room opened. Matoba walked in, dressed in dark robes and a smirk on his face. Natsume stood.

"Good morning, Natsume," he said calmly. Natsume pushed the bag under the bed with his foot.

"Good morning."

"I know you came here wanting to find out more about that ayakashi," he stated. Natsume's stomach growled in response.

"...Let's talk about it over breakfast" Matoba suggested.

"Y-yeah," Natsume said, a little embarrassed. He couldn't help but notice how Matoba's lips twitched upward. He felt his face heat up as he silently followed him out of the room. Natsume turned back and looked at Madara, who hadn't moved from the bed. "Guard the book of friends," he whispered. Madara nodded.

There were seals on almost every window. This had to be the cause of Madara's sickness. Matoba opened a sliding door and led them into a smaller room. A table filled with food sat in the center. Natsume passed a mirror and noticed the freshly purple marks on his neck.

"Touko said I have to go back home today," Natsume said quietly.

"That's too bad," Matoba said thoughtfully, "She hasn't given us much time to take care of that spirit. You'll probably have to make up another excuse."

Matoba seated himself. Natsume still stood, looking a little uncomfortable, so Matoba gestured for him to take a seat. Natsume stared at the bowl in front of him. "Just...What do you know about him?"

"Well, no exorcist has seen or heard from him for several decades. People assumed that he was sealed, I suppose. He was a spirit who would start many fires and cause trouble...Ayakashi only cause trouble..." He sighed and shook his head. He looked up and noticed Natsume's reluctance to eat. "You should eat something," Matoba gave a small smile, "I promise it's not poisoned."

Natsume instantly remembered the last time Matoba said that. He was at the abandoned branch house, hesitant to drink the tea Matoba offered him. He didn't trust him then, he didn't trust him now. It felt different though. Somehow this was less... _hostile_.

The comment annoyed him more than anything, so he ignored it and held back a scoff. "Will it come here?" he asked worriedly.

"It will try," Matoba stated simply, "but those seals prevent anything with the slightest trace of evil spirits from coming inside." Matoba brought rice to his mouth, but paused when he noticed Natsume still wasn't eating. "We have a long day ahead of us, and you haven't even touched your food." He sounded stuck between amused and exasperated.

Natsume pursed his lips and took a piece of fruit. He carefully avoided Matoba's gaze and looked out the window, chewing slowly. He wasn't sure what Matoba meant by that, and for some reason he didn't think he'd like it.

"Do you know what he wants with me?" Natsume asked softly as he took some rice for himself. He knew that Hiso wanted revenge, but that was it. Revenge for _what_? What could his grandmother have done that was so horrible?

Matoba smirked. "That's what I'd like to know. We might get to ask him today."

"What do you mean?" Natsume said, almost dropping his chopsticks.

"Well, what did you expect? We can't simply wait around for it to attack, we have to go after it and...well..." Matoba knew the next part would upset Natsume.

"Well what?" Natsume asked as he unconsciously leaned in. "You're not gong to..."

"Do you want it to hurt you, Takashi?"

Natsume exhaled at the sentence, remembering Hiso's threat and the dreams he'd had. He thought it was strange Matoba decided to use his first name. "I don't know it's circumstances."

"Do they matter?" Matoba questioned, narrowing his eyes at Natsume. "What _did_ he say to you?" Matoba asked in interest.

Natsume was quiet. He leaned back and looked at the floor, avoiding his gaze again. He knew Matoba was only partially right. What an idiot he was for thinking about the spirits circumstances when it had threatened to kill the Fujiwara's and his friends. Natsume could handle it if it only tried to hurt him, but this had never really happened before.

"Nothing I need to tell you," Natsume said softly.

"Then I'm guessing it wasn't anything good."

There was a long, uncomfortable pause. Natsume was lost in thought over Hiso's words. He remembered when he met him, how he said he was only a nuisance to his friends and family. He touched the still-fresh bruises on his neck.

"Actually..." Natsume started. He saw Matoba smirk from the corner of his eye. He wasn't sure if he should say it. "He kind of reminded me...of you..."

Natsume looked at Matoba who seemed taken aback. Natsume secretly wished that he hadn't said anything. How was he going to explain?

"Takashi," he breathed in a whispery laugh. "How did he remind you of me?" He sounded a little surprised.

"Forget it," Natsume said, trying to dismiss it. He took a sip of tea and looked anywhere but at Matoba. Honesty wasn't something Natsume could always have. He didn't lie all the time, but sometimes he had no choice. He had tried to tell people unbelievable things as a child, so no one believed him. They couldn't _see_.

Maybe that was it. Maybe that's why he was never open, never more honest than he had to be. Here was someone sitting in front of him who could _finally_ see the same things, and they couldn't even see in the same way. Even so, just for a moment he felt he could be just a _little_ bit more open, just a _little_ bit more honest, but that feeling was slowly dying since the comment had probably displeased Matoba.

"Tell me," he demanded.

"He..." Natsume closed his eyes and sighed. "He said something I could see you telling me. I don't really want to talk about it."

He watched uncomfortably as Matoba leaned back in his chair and stared at Natsume with awe. His face relaxed and he let out a quiet laugh. "Fine, Natsume." He stood and came around the table. Natsume looked up at him with wide eyes. Natsume gasped when Matoba leaned down and ran his hand through Natsume's hair, slowly tracing down to the purple marks on his neck. "I do wonder what he said..."

 _What are you doing, Matoba?_

They stayed like that, as if trying to guess each other's thoughts. Matoba gingerly let his hand retreat and folded his arms.

Natsume's skin tingled. It was a nice feeling, but Natsume shook it off and stood. He realized he'd been holding his breath as he followed Matoba out of the room and into the maze-like hallways. They went down some familiar stairs and Natsume stopped. "What about-"

"-the kitty? I highly doubt he'll be of much use."

Natsume didn't press anymore. He needed him to guard the Book of Friends with what shiki might try to look through his stuff while he'd be gone. That was another thing that made Matoba like Hiso. He would never trust either of them with those names.

* * *

Madara tried. He really tried. He wondered when Natsume would be back (hoping soon) as he fought to keep his eyes open. In a little while he would be fast asleep, unaware of the white-masked ayakashi lurking just behind the door.


	7. Red Strand

I hope yall are excited for this next chapter.

 **BOOKSRL1FE** \- aw, thank you for that kind review. I'm glad this last chapter made you happy. I have a hair fetish too, don't worry. And there won't be any spoils because Hiso's past and association with Reiko is kind of heart breaking. I would really like to know about Natsume's family, like his grandmother and his actual father and mother, but I have to leave it up to my imagination for now. And it won't be revealed until the very end. Here is the new chapter, and yes, I think damn is a valid reason as well. XD Thanks again.

 **Lael Mae** \- Thank you again for that review! I made a lot of corrections (with the quotation marks and comma placement). Thank you so much for that, because I wasn't sure. No one ever really taught me how, but I guess that's no excuse considering I can just look in any published book and see that. Even so, I appreciate it. That was very kind of you. (btw check your private messages. I wrote a much longer thank-you note). (;

 **Crow** -Oh wow, thank you. What I worry about most is the characters and if I'm getting them right. I fear I might have strayed a little in this chapter, because Matoba usually has a very calm demeanor. Eh, you'll see. I'm trying to make a plot that isn't very rushed, thank you for talking about that as well. It's always nice when people are kind enough to review, but when they also recognize things like that it makes me very happy. So thank you (:

* * *

 _Last night_

Aki quietly made dinner. She wondered where Hiso was; he'd been gone for several hours.

She heard a soft rustling and something red flashed in her peripheral vision. Aki turned to the sound and her eyes searched the trees. "I know you're there," she said, not bothering to hide her annoyance.

She heard a laugh, and felt arms wrap around her waist. She jumped a little, not expecting the affectionate touch. He breathed softly on the back of her neck and kissed it.

"Did you miss me?" Hiso asked playfully. Aki scoffed and turned around to face him.

"What did you do today?" she questioned, crossing her arms. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

Hiso smirked and sat by the fire. He watched it carefully, thinking about Natsume. He couldn't tell her he had finally found him. She was already mad that he wanted revenge in the first place.

"Why do you love me?" he asked quietly, still staring at the fire.

Aki uncrossed her arms and looked taken aback. "I..." she stuttered. She had never really thought about it before. Even after all the decades they had been together, after the fire...after she found him...she felt like the reason was right in front of her, and maybe it was in front of Hiso as well. But if that was true, why ask?

Aki relaxed and sighed. She crossed over to sit next to Hiso, taking his hand into hers. "Isn't it obvious?"

Hiso looked at her. "Not really," he stated simply.

Aki gave a small laugh and rested her head against his shoulder. "When you love someone, you long suffer with them. When I saw you, lying in the ashes...I knew you were something special."

Hiso shook his head. "What could you have possibly seen in me then, as pathetic as I was?"

"Injuries fade, burns always heal. Marks become small and insignificant. Nothing could have survived, but you did. Fire is in your blood, Hiso. I see it whenever I look into your eyes." She stopped and kissed his cheek, and whispered in his ear, "Just remember that fire doesn't have to be destructive. It is a light, and it is warmth. That is what you are for me, and it's why I love you."

Hiso stared at her. She smiled up at him and he closed the space between them with a small kiss. When they pulled away, Aki's face turned serious. "Now, answer my question. What happened today?"

Hiso laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair and touching his neck. "Well..." he started, avoiding her eyes.

Aki sighed in exasperation. "This didn't have anything to do with Reiko, did it?"

Hiso gave a small smile. "Not _exactly_ with Reiko..."

"Unbelievable." Aki said, standing up. She shook her head in disapproval. "I hope you haven't hurt anyone, Hiso."

"I can't promise that I haven't, and I can't promise that I never will again. This is my choice, Aki. This is also, for now, my purpose. I will have my revenge, one way or another." He stood as well, and tried to put a hand on her shoulder. She shook it off and angrily walked away.

She turned back suddenly, looking Hiso in the eyes. "You can measure a great man by his ability to forgive. I see no greatness in this. You are right, though. It is your choice. And I will make you chose between your revenge and me. Give it up, Hiso. Or I won't be around for much longer." She turned around and walked into the darkness of the forest, only bothering to call one last thing behind her. "I'm sure you can finish making dinner by yourself."

She left Hiso alone by the fire. He turned back to it and watched as the flames ate and climbed the wood, moving as if it were alive. He held out his hand, and the flames tried to reach for it. He felt the heat, and moved closer.

Hiso closed his eyes. Memories of pain, of the anger he felt...crawling through him, up his spine, down his legs, coming slowly to the palms of his hands.

He opened his eyes, looking and admiring the ball of flame he conjured. It floated above his hand. It was so natural to him; came so easily. He looked at the dying fire Aki had made and threw the ball of flame into it. The fire suddenly roared with life and looked as though it would reach the sky. Hiso watched it and smirked in satisfaction. "Dinner's done," he said.

* * *

They had been walking through the forest, going in the same way they had come out of it. Matoba apparently knew it by heart and had no trouble making his way through the paths. They looked familiar, but still confused Natsume. Yesterday came back in small bits when they reached the area where he had been attacked.

"Back to the crime scene..." Natsume mumbled. Several shiki were with them, probably to make sure Natsume didn't run. He knew Matoba was only showing superficial trust. Little things, like saying he wouldn't hold him there against his will, and that he could call Touko. They were small things that wouldn't be of much risk to Matoba. There was nothing that would make Natsume trust him, and Natsume wasn't sure if Matoba had realized that yet.

"Why are we here?" Natsume asked, walking over to Matoba.

"Tracking," Matoba stated simply. "You were very useful when it came to finding that giant Ayakashi. Even with all my shiki searching...and here you come, finding it in minutes." He looked at Natsume with slight amazement.

"Well, sorry to disappoint you, but...I can't sense anything." Natsume shrugged indifferently, crossing his arms.

Matoba's face turned completely serious, he and turned to face Natsume. "That's because you haven't tried, and you and I both know it. Don't try and stall the inevitable."

"Inevitable? I'm sorry if I don't want to hurt an ayakashi just because it threatened me. I want to know what it wants, and why," Natsume said, uncrossing his arms.

"You can't hope it will want anything good. That's exactly what will get you killed, so don't be so naïve," Matoba walked around, eye carefully scanning the ground as if he was searching for something.

Natsume felt like they'd had this conversation before. He watched Matoba curiously. "What are you doing?"

"Looking for something of his; something the spirit owns." He bent down, as if his eye had caught something. Matoba scooped something from the leaves and held it up. He smirked in triumph, but whatever he was holding Natsume couldn't see.

He moved next to Matoba's side to get a closer look. He could make out a short, red strand of what was most likely Hiso's hair. "Something like that?" Natsume questioned pointing at it.

"Technically, yes." He suddenly took Natsume's hand and Natsume gasped in surprise.

"Stop doing that..." he breathed shakily.

"Doing what?" Matoba asked, clearly amused.

Matoba placed the small strand in his open palm, and closed it to make a fist. "Sometimes it helps when you're trying to find them." His grip on Natsume loosened, and Natsume let his hand slip away.

"How?" he questioned, slightly opening his fist to peer at the small strand.

"I'm not entirely sure how, no one is. And not many people are capable of doing it. There's something about having a part of them that just makes it easier to find their location."

He turned away, eyes slowly trialing the ground once more. "Are you just going to stand there, Natsume?"

Natsume stared confusedly at the strand. "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with this." He held it out in his palm.

Matoba scoffed. "I prefer you don't make up excuses. I already told you not to stall, didn't I? Do you want to protect yourself?"

"I..." Natsume took a deep breath. It was not himself he wanted to protect. It was the Fujiwara's and his friends. Should he explain to Matoba that Hiso actually threatened to kill his family? No, he would hold it against him as yet another reason why Ayakashi are bad. Some, yes. Not all. There was no way he would ever be able to make Matoba understand that.

"Yes, I want to protect myself," he said with a sigh.

Matoba turned around and gave Natsume a look of utter seriousness. "Then use it. You know how to sense things, don't you? I bet that kitty taught you how."

He took the hand Natsume held the strand in and brought it up harshly. Natsume's eyes widened in shock at the sudden intensity. "Use it. Tell me where he is, Natsume. Feel him through this simple strand of hair."

Natsume glared at him, but closed his eyes. He rolled the hair in his hand slowly, letting it be familiar with his fingers, letting it press against his skin. He then stilled completely. His head was starting to hurt.

Natsume suddenly felt something familiar. He imagined the entire forest, where Hiso's presence could be. The wind blew quietly, and Natsume felt every leaf that rustled, every shiki that surrounded them. He was focusing more than he ever had. Only on Hiso. He felt the pain of being choked by him, of being thrown against a tree by him. Hiso was everywhere in this part of the woods. He felt his steps across the leaves, where in the trees he sat hidden and watched Natsume. Waiting for hours.

Then he felt burning. There was heat all around him. Unable to breath, unable to see anything except the flame. There was so much pain.

"Ah!" Natsume hissed, dropping the strand. He wrenched his hand free from Matoba's harsh hold.

"What is it?" Matoba asked. He looked over Natsume in bewilderment.

"It burns...someone he loved did this...someone he trusted..." Natsume fell to the ground. Matoba stooped down and grabbed his arm. Natsume let his hand dig into the dirt as he tried to support himself. He breathed heavily. It had been too intense. That had never happened before. He had never been able to do that.

He didn't realize Matoba had crouched down next to him. He flinched when he put a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong Natsume? Did you find him?"

Natsume shook his head and hugged himself. He was shaking. "N-no...it was something else. I can't describe it...it felt like I was on fire. I felt like I was burning, and..."

"And what?" Matoba questioned, leaning in.

Natsume stared at the leaves on the ground, looking for the right words. His eyes met Matoba's. " _Betrayal_..." he whispered. He breathed in shakily.

Matoba stared at him as though he had said something very strange. Natsume was so used to that feeling that he couldn't seem to care.

"There have been very few people capable of doing that," Matoba said slowly.

"Doing what?" Natsume asked, still shaking.

Matoba helped him to his feet. "No one has a specific name for it. Would you be willing to try again? Only this time I want you to not think about anything except Hiso's presence."

Natsume balanced himself in Matoba's arms, but he collapsed again and fell onto his chest. His body tingled with the feeling of being burned. Was that Hiso? Was that how he got those burn marks on his face?

Natsume's face heated up. "I'm sorry," he apologized, quickly standing up straight and backing away from Matoba. He lowered himself to the ground, too dizzy to focus until the Earth was closer. He became dreamily still.

Natsume closed his eyes again, holding on tightly to the hair. This time he would focus on the present. It had been etching him before; how Hiso got those nasty burns. Now was not the time for finding out. Natsume breathed in deeply and tried to only think about the distance, the location pertaining to himself and Hiso as if they were the only two people left on earth.

"He's really far," Natsume stated. "I'm not sure if this is the forest he lives in."

He heard Matoba laugh in amazement. It was almost inaudible, but Natsume opened his eyes in curiosity. "What?" he asked in slight annoyance.

"Nothing", Matoba whispered with a smile. He stood up and reached out a hand for Natsume to take. "I trust you."

Natsume glared up at him. "The feeling's not mutual."

"Still?" Matoba smirked. "I suppose it will just take time, then." His hand waited. Natsume stared at it. _Time_. What would time change?

He eventually took his hand and stood with a sigh. "I think I know somewhere we might be able to find him," he stated. The vivid dream he'd had, of Hiso in a forest. At least, he thought it was Hiso. He had the same ugly burn on the left side of his face. It was the first dream he'd ever had of Hiso. Could it have been a dream of the actual past? It didn't matter. It was the only lead he had, anyway. That forest was the one place he knew Hiso could be. The one that burned.

Matoba looked at him in awe. "Where might that be?"

Natsume wasn't entirely sure if he should tell Matoba, but then again, he wasn't ever entirely sure when it came to deciding things around this man. Matoba wasn't exactly predictable, but Natsume new if he found something that would be useful to him he'd take it, by any means necessary, and not caring about the needs of others. "In a different forest. One that had a terrible fire a long time ago."

He saw Matoba give the smallest of smiles. "I think I know which one you might be talking about."

* * *

Ta-da. New chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed this one. As always, please tell me immediately if there are any grammar mistakes. And if this could use some work (I already know it can), but in which specific areas. You guys are amazing, thank you to all who have left a review. It really means a lot to me and it definitely encourages me to be a better writer for you guys. This experience helps me to be a better writer, and I'm glad to know it makes a person's day. So thank you!


	8. First Kiss

_**If there are any grammar/spelling mistakes let me know immediately. I hate those with a passion.**_

 **guest-** Thank you so much for that lovely review! Here is the next chapter. It made my day when you said it was addictive. I was like, "Yes!" Because that's what I strive for. Page turners. Your review was in my e-mail and it made me soooo happy. Thank you, and here is what you've been waiting for!

 **Crow-** Aw, your reviews were so nice. That's very kind of you to say. I'm just as excited as you are. This ship is about to set sail. (; I can not wait. I want to spoil everything right now, but I must resist. For the sake of the planet. I really hope Matoba finds out what the book of friends is in the manga. Natori does, I think. Oh wait, no. That happened in my head. Or did it? I'm going to go back and look. Thank you so much for those fantastic reviews! They warmed my heart and I really hope you find this chapter even more enjoyable!

 **Lael-** Thanks for the helpful critique! You know I always appreciate it. I'd also like to know if this chapter was an improvement. I was trying to put less dialogue, but I'm not sure. I hope their feeling become more apparent in some way. It's always nice to be clear about emotions to the audience. You always leave long review and you're not afraid to be honest, which is a good thing for me. I love your advice, and I really admire your writing. Thank you so much Lael Mae! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

 **Aidaedalus-** Oh thank you so much! I love the manga. I think I read it in like, three days. Online. I really admire Yuki Midorikawa. She is so creative. I love the Natsume and Matoba arcs. That one that you were talking about was my second favorite. And I have a feeling you're going to really like this chapter. (;

* * *

The drive back was silent. It somehow felt longer than it had before. Maybe it was because Natsume knew he did not have much time. Touko was expecting him back home today, but there was no way that would happen.

"Nanase mentioned something about it once. We have to go back to ask her." Matoba glanced at Natsume with what seemed like slight curiosity. "How did you guess?"

"Guess what?" Natsume asked, looking away from the passing trees.

"Where we might find him," he clarified, shifting in the leather seat to face him.

Natsume let his eyes trail down and turned back to the window to gaze somewhere else. "I don't know," he lied. He had dreamed of it, and decided that the person he saw had to be Hiso. Who else could it be?

"Don't lie to me. I know something had to have happened," Matoba snapped.

He was afraid Matoba would ask, and press. He knew it would happen. It was in his nature. At the moment, however, Natsume didn't feel like answering. He didn't want to talk to him. He didn't want to be here, but what choice did he have?

Natsume ran a hand through his hair. He hated this situation. "It was a dream. I dreamt of a forest burning. That's all. It was before all of this. Even before I met _him_." He sighed shakily. Natsume had to give him something so that he would stop asking questions.

"Then tell me why you think it has to do with Hiso," Matoba inquired, "It was just a forest burning, wasn't it? Hiso is a fire spirit, but that doesn't mean anything. There has to be something else. Something else happened that makes you sure it relates." Matoba held a steady gaze and Natsume shifted uncomfortably.

Matoba had good intuition, but that wouldn't be enough to make him mention Reiko, or the person who was screaming her name in such a hateful way. Hiso. What could Reiko have possibly done to him? That was the question constantly etched on his mind. Eventually he knew he would have to face him again. Maybe then he'd find out.

Natsume silently fumed. He closed his eyes. "There is nothing," he said firmly. He hoped the tone would shake Matoba off, just for now. He stared out the window to avoid Matoba's gaze. Matoba shifted away. He was frustrated, but gave up. He didn't press any further, sensing Natsume's unwillingness to talk. Natsume knew that this wasn't the end of their conversation. Matoba would keep on trying.

Matoba closed the car door and it drove away. The strode across the courtyard and met cool air as they entered. "You should go back to your room," he said, "Call Touko and do what you need to do." He glanced at the boy. "Try and rest, Natsume."

He didn't exactly want to rest. He wanted to find Hiso, but the opportunity was alright. He felt weak from whatever it was he had done. He felt what Hiso felt. It was horrible, and Natsume wanted to forget about it. Natsume followed him silently through one of the many hallways. He would have loved to go back to his room at that moment. He couldn't stand being around Matoba right now. "I don't really know where..."

"It's okay," he said, as though reading his mind, "This shiki will show you the way. I will come and check on you when I'm done talking to Nanase." Matoba looked at him. He seemed tired. Natsume thought of glaring at him and walking away, but he couldn't. Matoba was going out of his way to help him, but Natsume wished Matoba wouldn't push his stupid ideals on him.

He nodded. "Thank you, Matoba."

Matoba gave the smallest of smiles and walked away, disappearing behind a corner. Natsume watched him leave, then turned to the man-made shiki. It calmly led him down the hallway and Natsume followed in silence. He didn't attempt to speak to it, feeling that there would be no point. He had never heard them talk before, the black shiki in white robes. Natsume wasn't sure if it was because they were incapable, or if it was because they were not permitted to. Could they even feel or think for themselves? He wondered if they even had a name. He carefully watched the back of it until they were finally in front of his room.

"Thanks." The shiki nodded and quietly continued down the hall. Natsume opened the sliding door and walked back in, seeing that Nyanko-sensei was still asleep.

He tiredly sauntered over to the bed and let himself fall on the soft cushions. Nyanko-sensei jumped in surprise. He peered at Natsume with must have been curiosity. "What happened, kid?" he asked.

"Nothing much, really." He sighed and stared at the ceiling. "Are you still very tired?" he asked, looking at the cat.

Nyanko-sensei rolled over. "I'm hungry!" He groaned.

Natsume sat up. Instead of punching him for whining he looked concerned. That surprised Madara. "That's right, you haven't eaten anything," he said worriedly. He stared out the window, as if looking for a solution somewhere on the glass. "You can't stay here," Natsume said. There wasn't a point in him staying if all it did was drain his energy.

Nyanko-sensei rolled back on his stomach and stood of his paws. "Why not?" he asked in seriousness.

"It's not doing much good if you just stay here," he explained. "You're too weak right now." He stood and walked over to the window in a hurry. He tried lifting it up, but it wouldn't budge. He turned the locks and this time it opened. He felt wind blow against his face and he turned to Nyanko-sensei. "Can you go through this window?" he questioned, knowing that he could.

"Of course." Madara jumped off the bed and lazily walked over to Natsume. "What do you want me to do?"

"When you leave, I need you to find Natori," he explained, bending down so he was closer to Nyanko-sensei.

"That exorcist brat?! Why would you trust such a shady character?" He shook his head in disapproval.

Natsume laughed. "I trust him more than I trust Matoba. You should explain the situation to him. He could help. I also need you to get Hinoe and Misuzu if you can. Okay?"

Madara nodded. "Do you want me to break you out of here?"

Natsume was quiet, thinking. He looked over at the bed, knowing that the book of friends must still be under there, tucked away safely in his bag. He didn't want to let it out of his sight, not while it was in this house. "No one came in here, right?"

"No way," Madara said, shaking his head. He jumped on the window seal. "You do realize you can just leave now, don't you Natsume?"

Natsume stood up straight. "Yes. But Matoba is the only one who seems to know about Hiso, and that's the only reason I'm staying. He's getting some information from Nanase right now, and after that...well, you know I can't go home or Hiso might find them." It wasn't like he wanted to stay. He would love to leave this place. Not yet.

"Remember when that exorcist brat invited you to his home whenever you needed a place?" Madara said.

Natsume's eyes widened in realization. He hadn't thought of that, but he didn't want to burden Natori. "Yeah. Are _you_ actually suggesting I stay with Natori?" Natsume laughed. "You're the last person I'd expect to say that."

Madara scoffed. "It has to better than here."

They both suddenly turned their attention to the door. The sound of footsteps approaching echoed through the hall. Natsume turned to Madara. "Come back here tomorrow at midnight, okay? Make sure Touko and Shigeru are safe," he whispered.

Madara nodded and jumped off from the window seal, changing into his beast form and flying up into the darkening sky. Natsume felt a small fear build in him as he watched him leave. Now he was alone. He hastily closed the window just as the sliding door started to open.

He turned around and saw Matoba staring at him with a small smile. Natsume's shoulders tensed. Had he seen that?

"Did Nanase know anything about it?", Natsume asked quickly. Too quickly.

"Why, yes." Matoba closed the sliding door and glanced at the empty bed. He smirked, turning his carefully studying gaze to Natsume again. He slowly approached him. "Where did your little friend go, Natsume?"

"I don't know," he said nervously, "Maybe he just couldn't stand the seals anymore. It was making him sick." Natsume knew Matoba knew better, but it was the only thing he could think of. For every step Matoba took toward him, Natsume took a step back. He suddenly felt the bed behind him and stopped. It was like a trap.

"A part of me wants to believe that. It would just prove that your little kitty doesn't really care about you." Matoba crossed his arms. "What really happened?"

"I don't know where he went, okay?" he lied. He didn't have to answer, and he didn't have to be here.

Matoba towered over Natsume. "I bet you sent him to get help," he suggested. He turned to look out the window, shaking his head. "I can protect you more than anyone else right now. Don't you understand that?" He turned back to Natsume.

Natsume almost felt like telling the whole truth at that moment. A part of him wanted to tell him. He had somehow put all of his friends and family in danger. Their lives were at risks, and every second Natsume's worry grew.

He stayed quiet and stared at the floor. Natsume couldn't bring himself to say anything, especially if it would risk Matoba meeting the Fujiwara's.

Matoba stared at the boy. The setting sun's rays were getting in his eyes, making them look lighter than they already were. He couldn't help but notice. "One of my shiki showed me something very interesting while I was talking to Nanase."

Natsume's eyes trailed back up, waiting for Matoba to say more.

"It had very strange writing in it, too." Natsume unconsciously held his breath. Matoba smiled. "I have a feeling you know exactly what I'm talking about."

Strange writing? No, it couldn't be the book of friends. Madara had guarded it. He realized he had to say something or he'd be suspicious. "N-no. I don't," he exhaled. He did his best to act innocent. His heart was starting to beat a little faster, though. The fear had already shown on his face.

"Let's not play that game, Natsume. It's something called the 'Book of Friends'. It had that title on the cover of it. It was very intriguing, but I unfortunately have no idea what it is."

Natsume glared at him angrily. "You didn't have a right to go through my stuff!" he exclaimed. He attempted to walk away, but Matoba stopped him and shoved him harshly. Natsume fell back onto the bed with a quiet gasp. He looked up at Matoba in bewilderment. "Why did you-"

"Where are you going, Natsume?" Matoba cut off. Natsume sat up dizzily and continued to glare at him.

He wasn't sure where he was going. He just didn't want to be here in this stupid branch house. The sooner Madara came back, the better. Natsume could hardly stand Matoba's presence right now. But now there was a problem.

He couldn't leave the Book of Friends behind.

"That book..." he started, "Belonged to my grandmother." Natsume swallowed in fear. He had to lie, and he had to lie well. There was no telling what Matoba might do if he knew the book's purpose.

"Really? It had many scribbles in it. It would feel pointless to make random scribbles, so they must have meaning. Don't they?" Matoba crossed his arms. He was very good at sensing if something might be of use to him. Natsume had already realized that. But he also knew that the Book of Friends was against some sort of law exorcists had made, just like Taki's circle. He couldn't bring himself to tell her then, but with Matoba standing in front of him now, so close to discovery...

"I don't know. I don't know it's purpose, if it has one one," Natsume lied through his teeth. He made sure to look Matoba in the eye, and did his best to breath steadily. He should be good at this by now, but he was used to lying to people who did not have the sight or this sort of intuition.

"If it has one," he repeated, "If it doesn't then it has no use for me. It shouldn't be too hard of a loss if I destroy it, right?" he smiled.

Natsume inhaled sharply. He was starting to panic inside. "Don't. You can't do that," he said, slightly losing his composure.

"Why not?" Matoba questioned. He knew he was getting somewhere.

"It is the only thing I have that belonged to my grandmother," Natsume stated. It wasn't a complete lie, which made answering a bit easier.

Matoba tilted his head thoughtfully. "I wonder, though. Why carry it around with you? It's almost as if...you're afraid of letting it be alone. Unfortunately for you, that incompetent kitty napped while one of my shiki took the initiative to look for something of use. It definitely found something." Matoba paused and narrowed his eyes. "Why are you so protective of it?"

Natsume was sick of answering questions. "What made you think you could look through my stuff?" He stood up again, almost losing his balance. Matoba reached out an arm to catch him. The room spun slightly but he looked up at Matoba and it stilled again. He felt weak. Was this what Madara felt? Natsume leaned on his arm, staring up at him with resentment. Typically he'd be grateful to someone who was helping him so much, but Matoba was crossing a line.

He slowly balanced himself once more and stood up straight. They were inches away, staring each other down. "I told you," Matoba started, "My shiki took the initiative. I didn't order him to do anything."

Natsume stopped glaring at him. Could those shiki think for themselves? He took a deep breath. Now was not the time to worry about that. Right now he needed to somehow convince Matoba. Or sidetrack him.

"You can put up this charade of trustworthiness. Letting me call Touko, even. That doesn't hurt you, though. In fact, it benefits you." The dizziness came back again. "But you know who you remind me of?" he asked in a whisper. He started to sway back and forth.

Matoba sighed. "Who, Natsume?" Natsume laughed, but before he could get a chance to answer, his vision filled with black and he fell back onto the bed in exhaustion. Matoba watched as Natsume let out a final sigh.

"Natsume?" he called worriedly. Matoba shook his arm. "Natsume," he repeated, louder this time. He grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him again. He was completely unconscious.

"Huh." Matoba let go off his shoulders. "It seems to be having the same effect on you as it did on that cat. Strange." Natsume was breathing steadily. "I wonder what you were going to say." He slowly ran his thumb across his cheek. Natsume's legs were hanging over the side of the bed. Matoba lifted his head and legs, shifting his position to be more comfortable. He stared at the motionless boy, and brushed a few blond locks out of his face.

"I'm the only one who can protect you. You're not going anywhere," he whispered. The boy was asleep. Passed out completely. The seals were affecting him as well, somehow. He wanted to take advantage of that. He thought about it, knowing that there would be no harm. Matoba bent down carefully, cautiously, and placed a single kiss on his lips. He'd been wanting to do that for a while. Matoba sighed and breathed into his neck, wanting more but resisting it. He stood and forced himself to walk away, turning back for one last look at the sleeping boy before shutting the door.


	9. Certain Truce

_**Pleeeeeaase, as always, inform me of any grammar/spelling mistakes.**_

 **Lael Mae-** Thank you so much! I really just want to make this fanfiction as pleasant to read as possible, and your advice has really helped. I couldn't have done it without your willingness to share your expertise, so thank you once again. I should have been more careful about the quotations and the sifting shifting problem, but I was so eager to post because I did not update in a while. I went back and fixed it. I'm glad the dialogue problem was solved sufficiently. I was worried about that, so thank you for addressing it. You've really helped me a lot. I hope you like this chapter! (:

 **Aidaedalus-** Here it is. Didn't have to wait that long, did you? I was just so excited about it. I'm motivated. I was spazzing out when writing that last scene in chapter 8. Finally, something happened, right? *Laughs evilly* That was just the warm-up, honey. Stuff's gonna go down. You comment was so sweet, and made me so happy. Thank you! Enjoy this chapter (;

 **Tama** \- Yes, Matoba kissed him. But he's going to do a lot more than that in this chapter. Thank you for reviewing. That makes you even more awesome, which can't be possible since you're already 100% awesome for simply reading this piece of fanfiction. I hope you enjoy this chapter! :D

* * *

The sun was beginning to set, but Touko and Shigeru had not seen Natsume return today, nor heard his voice on the other end of a phone. Touko couldn't think of anything else. She slowly hung the laundry, as if trying to stall so she could watch the road, waiting for any sign of Natsume. Not many people passed by. One or two maybe, neither of them she recognized.

She looked up at the darkening sky, worry growing in her chest. She had told him to come home. If he couldn't or didn't want to, he should have at least called her. Something felt a bit wrong. He had said he was going to stay with Tanuma, without any warning whatsoever. She would scold him later. But he had to be fine. He had to be.

Touko clipped a newly cleaned sheet to the laundry line. Calling Tanuma seemed like the only thing she could do.

* * *

Tanuma lied in his bed, reading a book when the sound of a telephone suddenly rang through the house. He hoped it was Natsume.

"I'll get it!" he said quickly. He hastily put his book down and left his room, but his father had already picked it up.

His father looked at him and set the phone on his shoulder. "It's Touko," he whispered cheerily. He continued to talk to her.

"Huh? No, Natsume isn't here," he said. Tanuma's eyes widened. His father listened to her and confusion showed in his features. "Here yesterday? I don't-"

"Hey dad, can I talk to her?" Tanuma suddenly cut off. He gave a nervous smile but took the phone from his dad's hand. "Natsume was supposed to come yesterday," he lied. Tanuma's father nodded at the sufficient explanation and walked away, going back to hiss duties. He was very trusting. Tanuma hated betraying that trust. It was a close call. He wasn't sure how long he could cover for Natsume.

Tanuma put the phone up to his ear. "Hi, Mrs. Fujiwara."

"Hello Tanuma," she breathed. "Do you know where Natsume is? I asked him to come home with you today, if you wanted."

Touko waited on the other end. He wasn't sure what to say. Lying wasn't exactly his forte, and what if Natsume was in some really serious danger? He bit his lower lip in uncertainty. When you sincerely care about someone, do you give them what they want, or what they need? He knew Natsume wanted him to cover for him. He didn't want the Fujiwara's to worry. The truth was always better, but Tanuma wasn't sure in this situation.

"Oh, yeah," he started. "He's here, but right now he's in the shower."

He heard a sigh of relief. "In the shower? Your shower?" Touko questioned.

Tanuma needed details. "We played some soccer after school and got dirty. Sorry he didn't call earlier, we were outside a lot." He kept his voice even.

"Oh," he heard Touko say. She sounded pretty much convinced, but hurt. It couldn't be as terrible as the truth, though. Thinking that he was just not caring enough to call wasn't as nearly as bad as finding out something was after him.

"I'm glad he's alright, but you make sure he comes home tomorrow." Tanuma gulped. Touko sounded angry now.

"Yes ma'am," he nervously said. She sighed.

"You can come for dinner, of course. Both of you be careful, alright? Goodnight, dear."

"Goodnight." He shakily put the phone back and exhaled the breath he'd been holding.

 _Natsume, what have you got yourself into?_ Tanuma walked back to his room, looking out at the night sky. Stars were twinkling down at him. _Come back soon._

* * *

"So what you're saying is, Natsume got kidnapped by Matoba?" Natori asked.

"Well, that's new," Hinoe said sarcastically. She put a pipe up to her lips an inhaled.

Madara was in his beast form. He had run into Natori while he was in the forest. Apparently he was doing a job of some sort, but this was more important. Hinoe and Misuzu were easy find, and very willing to help.

"Not for long," Madara explained. "I going to come at midnight tomorrow and take him. By then I bet he thinks he'd have gotten all the information he needs from that man."

"Information on what?" Misuzu questioned curiously. His head was resting on his hooves, as usual.

"Hiso. That fire spirit wants to do something to Natsume."

Natori took a step towards him. "What exactly does he want to do to him?"

"Get revenge," he said simply. "Destroy everything he holds dear."

"Why would he want to do that?" Natori furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms.

"I don't know," Madara said with a tired sigh. "It had something to do with Reiko." He was just as confused about it as everyone else.

Hinoe stop smoking her pipe and looked up, hearing the woman's name. "Reiko? What does she have to do with it?"

"I don't even know. We'll find out soon enough, though. This is what we need to do."

* * *

Natsume slowly opened his eyes. He couldn't see anything except darkness. It was quiet, like the middle of the night should be. Peaceful.

He soon realized his body felt heavy, like weights were tied to every limb. Natsume tried to sit up, and noticed it took more effort than it should. He couldn't be here anymore. The seals were taking his strength, just like they did with Madara. He had to get away, but first he needed to take back the Book of Friends. Natsume pushed up with all his strength, accidentally falling out of bed.

He lied on the wooden floor, too weak to move. He passed out again.

Hours passed by. When he woke again it was still dark. Natsume slid his hands below the bed, looking for his bag. He took it. Now he just had to find out where the Book of Friends was.

The mansion was a maze in disguise. Natsume guessed it was that way to confuse spirits that entered. They put thought into everything. Annoying exorcists.

He weakly swung the strap over his shoulder and started to crawl across the floor. Natsume tiredly used the support of a nearby table to stand again. One foot in front of the other. Natsume breathed heavily. What an effort it took.

He leaned against the doorway, and quietly made his way down the corridor. Natsume slid against the wall, keeping close and depending on it. He could barely see anything in the darkness, but then he got to a hallway with windows along the other wall, covered in seals. Natsume felt his energy take a drop. Moonlight seeped through, making the dark wooden floors reflect the light.

He suddenly stopped walking, hearing something. _Slither_.

Natsume turned his head, and saw a shadow of a shiki coming from the previous hallway, about to turn the corner. His eyes widened. He had to hide.

Natsume looked around. There was a sliding door close by. He wasn't sure what it might lead to, but he couldn't get caught. He knew he was no longer free. Trust was just a facade. He was, in reality, Matoba's prisoner. Not for long. Natsume had only one thing on his mind: Get the Book of Friends, and run.

He held his breath and slid the door open, trying to be quiet but quick as possible and slipped inside.

 _Slither_. The shadow made it's way down the hall, and suddenly stopped in front of the door. It seemed to be listening, as though it had sensed him. Natsume cupped both his hands over his mouth, still not breathing. Not daring.

It felt like decades until it finally continued again. When he was sure it was gone, Natsume exhaled shakily and sank to the floor. He didn't realize how exhausted he was until then, now that the adrenaline was gone. How was he supposed to find the Book of Friends in this condition? There were probably several other shiki wandering the halls, patrolling. Not only that, but he knew this mansion was huge and confusing.

Where was he now? Natsume squinted and peered into the darkness of the room. He tried making out the figures and furniture. It was simple, from what he could tell. But large. There was something in the middle, on the floor. A futon? He crawled cautiously toward it, and realized someone was sleeping on it. He gasped. He needed to get out of here.

The person stirred, and Natsume inhaled sharply. He had to be very quiet. Natsume slowly rose, so he could back away toward the door. But something caught his eye. There was a silhouette of something familiar sitting on top of a low-leveled table. Natsume stopped. Was that...? No way. If it was he couldn't believe his luck. Natsume approached the table, carefully going around the sleeping person. He was depending on the moonlight, but there was no mistaking it.

Natsume almost laughed in relief, but caught himself. He had found the Book of Friends. He picked it up, examining it to make sure it was still intact. But if it was here, then that had to mean...

He slowly turned his head to look at the sleeping person, realizing who it might be. He met a single, but calm eye shining at him. Natsume stared in shock. How long had Matoba been awake?

"You should be resting, Natsume," Matoba said. He was leaning back, using his arms for support. He smirked and looked up at Natsume in slight amazement.

He was so close. So close. He had it, though. The Book of Friends was in his hands. Maybe if he ran...

"So you snuck in here, huh? You really are like a cat youkai. I barely heard a sound." Matoba pulled the covers off and stood. Natsume held the book of friends tightly against his chest.

"Leave me alone," Natsume said firmly. "You're not the only one who can protect me, and even if you were, it wouldn't matter. I don't want your help. I want to leave."

Matoba approached him. "I guess there's no point in pretending, then. I'm not letting you go, Natsume." He towered over the boy.

Natsume backed into a wall. Matoba had managed to trap him once again. He rested his hands on the wall, on either side of Natsume's head.

Natsume wished he could fade into the wall somehow. Matoba was so close. "If you don't, that means you're kidnapping." _Not that that's ever stopped you before..._

Matoba laughed. "You know I don't care. Besides, you don't want the Fujiwara's to know you can see ayakashi, do you? And I highly doubt the police would believe an evil fire spirit wants to hurt you."

Natsume looked away. He couldn't believe this. Matoba tugged at the Book of Friends and it slipped out of Natsume's hands. He'd given up, for now.

Natsume closed his eyes. He wished he could go home. He hated being here, he hated having to be afraid and cautious and untrusting. Matoba gingerly touched his cheek. _What_? He opened his eyes and looked at Matoba in confusion. Matoba had a small smile on.

"What was it you were going to say before you passed out? I believe you were about to compare me to someone," Matoba said gently. Natsume felt a hand slowly move down his robes and inhaled sharply out of surprise.

"W-what are you-," he stammered breathlessly. Natsume stared at Matoba in bewilderment.

"-Answer my question first, Natsume," he cut off. His hand lingered on Natsume's waist.

Natsume pressed against the wall. He wanted to tell him out of anger and resentment then. Now, he was less fearless, more rational. What ever went on in this man's head? Natsume was beyond confused by his actions. He grabbed Matoba's hand to stop it from sliding down any further.

Matoba's smile fell. Something deeper than slight amusement replaced his features. Something wanting set in his hovering gaze. "Tell me," he demanded.

Natsume already felt uncomfortable. He wanted to defy this man who held him prisoner because he thought he could. This sentence would defy him. Natsume was breathing heavily. "Hiso," he said, "You remind me of Hiso."

Matoba looked taken aback. Natsume pushed at Matoba's chest, making Matoba stagger back in surprise. The difference in distance was barely anything. Natsume shoved him again with a grunt of frustration, wanting to make miles between them. He glared at him. "Because you're both cold-hearted, stopping at nothing to get what you want and not caring about the consequences!" he yelled. His voice started to rise.

There was so much rage from being held here against his will, and having the the book of friends taken from him. "You can say that what you do is to protect humans, you can say you want to protect me, but that's just a pathetic excuse so you can fill out your own damn selfish agendas! You are a corrupt, greedy exorcist who just wants power. Using people then throwing them away when they don't help you anymore. I wish you'd just leave me alone!" Natsume was pounding his fists on Matoba's chest out of anger and frustration. His eyes were starting to water.

Matoba firmly grabbed the boy's arms. He struggled in Matoba's determined grasp and thrashed at whatever he could. "Stop it, Natsume!" Natsume kept fighting him. "You're going to wake others," he warned, trying to get Natsume to look at him.

"Don't tell me to stop it! How can I find peace when he's threatened to kill my family?!" Natsume suddenly yelled. He had stopped fighting. They both stared at each other.

Tears were rolling down his cheeks, and Natsume took Matoba's shock as an opportunity to wrench himself free. "He's threatened to kill my whole family," he said in quieter, almost a resentful whisper. "I bet you didn't know that. I didn't want to tell you. It would have just been another thing you could hold against me, use that as proof in hopes of getting me to believe your stupid ideals. Stop forcing them on me. Not all ayakashi are bad. Nothing you can say can change my mind about that." Natsume shook.

Matoba looked at him in disbelief. "Even if he threatens to kill your family?" He laughed and ran a hand through his hair. "It sound like you kept this secret from me out of pride. Pride, Natsume. Why don't you just open your eyes? Your pathetic kitty couldn't even guard this for you!" He held up the Book of Friends, then set it back down on a table.

"That's exactly what I mean!" he said, pointing at him, "I didn't keep it out of pride, but of fear. I knew you'd talk about ayakashi like they're lower than us. Like they're monsters. I didn't want to hear it again. I couldn't. I'm just so sick of it, Matoba." Natsume wanted to fall to the floor. It was like some weight had been lifted, but at the same time he felt like sobbing.

They were both quiet. Neither had realized it started to rain while they argued. Thunder sounded in the distance, but rain steadily splattered against the windows. One would have to make the other believe him, but that was not going to happen. Not tonight, anyway. It seemed that Natsume would never be convinced, and neither would Matoba. But Matoba was determined, while Natsume was simply tired of it. Natsume never liked to force his beliefs on others. He simply stood for them.

"So here we are," Matoba said. "Finally facing the truth. How and when will you ever believe me, Natsume?"

Natsume laughed bitterly. "I could ask you the same thing." Matoba approached him. Natsume stood still, not fighting as Matoba wrapped his arms around his waist again. He didn't want to fight anymore. Natsume had let himself say the truth, which was a rarity for him. Now he just wanted peace.

"You're a kind person," Matoba whispered. He had that deep wanting in his gaze once more. "And I know exactly what I am. But people take advantage of you, don't they? I've done things I'm not proud of. It's a price I must pay to get somewhere this high. And with this power, I can protect the things I care about." His voice soothed him. This explanation had made Natsume less enraged, but his heart still beat unsteadily.

"A lot of people hate you for it," Natsume said. He had heard people talk about him behind his back. They despised him and the infamous Matoba Clan because of all the promises they'd break. He understood more clearly now. But he did not seek after power. He was not like Matoba. Although it was not the easy path, Natsume refused to be cruel and ruthless like he was. He refused to ever use people to get his way. Hopefully he'd never leave his kindness behind.

Matoba put a hand up to Natsume's cheek, slowly sliding his thumb across it. Natsume felt the room spin. "Do you hate me, Natsume?" he asked softly.

Natsume bit his lower lip and stared uncertainly at Matoba. "I don't hate anyone." It was the truth.

"Not even Hiso?" Matoba asked in astonishment.

Natsume shook his head. "Not even Hiso," he confirmed.

There was once a time when Matoba was the same. But some things simply change a person's perspective. They start to fade into someone colder, whether it be because of the people in their life, or because of the circumstances. Maybe Natsume would have turned into something like Matoba if he never met the Fujiwara's. Maybe even something worse. But here he was, with no hate in him whatsoever. He really was a kind person.

Matoba couldn't resist his desire to close the space between them. No one could intrigue him more. Natsume's eyes widened. He felt Matoba's lips gingerly press against his own. It was a warm feeling, but nonetheless shocking. Why was he even...? It was an unexplained kiss. One that made Natsume shudder. He didn't like it. He didn't want this. No, it wasn't right. Natsume tried to pull away, but couldn't. He protested and fought. Matoba stopped and looked at him.

"I'm not going to force you, Natsume," he said breathlessly. Matoba still held on to him, though.

Natsume stared at him. Finally, something he wouldn't force. Something where he had a choice. But why would he ever let Matoba touch him and kiss him? This man that had caused him to feel resentment and rage? There was no explanation. None. Would it really hurt? Perhaps just the opposite. He held a steady gaze and really considered it. How long had Matoba even felt like this? Maybe...if Natsume gave him what he wanted, he'd get what he wanted as well.

Natsume wrapped his arms around him and said all he needed to say with a kiss. The rain faded into the background, and the sound of heavy breathing replaced it. Lighting lit the room. Matoba pressed passionately, more urgent than Natsume. Natsume could barely keep up. He was out of breath, and hardly noticed Matoba had laid him down on the futon.

Matoba's hands wandered down. He pulled away and started to undo Natsume's robes.

Natsume felt his face heat up as he watched the man above him. He wasn't sure what this was, but he couldn't stop. Matoba kissed him again, when Natsume was still catching his breath. He felt Matoba smile, as if amused by Natsume's loss of composure. One of his hands was entwined with Natsume's hair, and the other traced against his bare skin. Natsume gasped, and Matoba took it as an opportunity to stick his tongue in his mouth.

Natsume shut his eyes tightly. The invasion was unexpected. He'd certainly never been kissed like _this_ before. Matoba ran his tongue against a certain part of his mouth, and Natsume unintentionally moaned. They were lost in each other. So focused and so wanting. Their sounds of panting faded into the night, like the way rain blends with thunder. No one interrupted this moment that left them breathless. For now, they forgot about the world around them. It rolled away from their thoughts until Hiso didn't exist. There was no such thing as the Book of Friends anymore.

Natsume hadn't exactly forgiven him, but let there be a truce. There was now ground they could walk on together that gave them some sort of agreement, even if it existed in their mutual lust for each other. What morning would bring was a mystery. Natsume didn't want to think about it. Matoba made a trail down his neck, of kisses that grew less gentle and more biting as he moved further down. The feeling was alien and tingled on his deprived teenage body.

He suddenly stopped. Matoba was panting, but his face was not flushed with pink like Natsume's was. He seemed to be holding back with all his strength. Natsume wondered what was wrong.

"Are you...sure?" Matoba asked. He was used to getting his way with force and manipulation, but this was different. He wanted it to be consensual in every way.

Natsume sat up. Things were starting to blur together, the room was spinning, but he still had enough sense to know exactly what he was doing. "Yes. I'm absolutely sure."

Matoba laughed out of relief and pulled Natsume in for another kiss. Their fingers were entwined. Natsume knew he'd never forget this night. He escaped from reality in Matoba's arms. His woos slipped away in these warm kisses. Just for a while, he'd let himself forget.


	10. Morning

_**Let me know of any grammar/spelling mistakes, as always.**_

 **Crow** \- When I read both of your latest reviews I could not stop smiling. I was in the living but my mom was there so I went into the hallway and jumped up and down. I was like, "Yes!" You have no idea how awesome I felt, I mean seriously. That was the sweetest thing and you probably have no idea what it means to me. Thank you a thousand times. It is probably, hands down, two of the best review I have ever gotten. I keep reading them over and over. I hope you're excited about Natori's character coming in because I also think NatorixNatsume would be really good. Btw I changed a few things in the last chapter close to the end. If I could, I would PM you and spoil to you what I have planned. It's going to get really good really soon. Thank you for the uplifting words, it's motivated me like nothing else. Here is the latest chapter, I'm sure you'll love it!

 **Lael Mae** : Thank you for that honest review. You pinpointed all the grammar accidents, which I went back and fixed. I changed the part that felt rushed by expanding a little more. I also changed the first two chapters because I noticed how terrible it was in comparison to my latest chapters. It's because of you. You're really talented. You've really helped me become a better writer, this story has become really good. It would not have been this well written without all your help. Thank you for taking the time to tell me what needs fixing, because these things go by me unnoticed. Your advice has helped me tremendously. Thank you! Here is the morning after... ;)

 **Tama** \- Oh my gosh, thank you. I aim for fantastic, so I'm glad you found it this way. Tissues? It wasn't that great. I think this chapter is a lot better, though. I think I somehow magically I got some good writing skills overnight and this is what happened. I hope you review for it also. I'm always so curious to know what people think, and getting review makes me so happy, always. Thanks tama (:

 **Bakasugii** \- I know, right? I've been waiting on the next manga chapter for forever. I love Natsume yuujinchou. It's probably my favorite anime. Writing this fanfiction has been a pleasure, so thank you for reading it and even taking your time to review. It's greatly appreciated. You're awesome. Thanks for the kind words!

 **Aidaedalus** \- I'm never sure if I spell your pen name right. Where did you get the idea to name yourself that? It sounds like the name a Greek god might have. Anyway, I finally updated. I'm proud of myself because I think this chapter is really good. Tell me what you think. Oh and also about the yaoi request...well...we'll see. The last chapter, chapter 9, was probably the most graphic thing I've ever written in my entire life. Who knows? Maybe I'll become more daring. Or not. (;

* * *

Natsume woke up very slowly, and the dream he had had suddenly shattered when he remembered what he's done just a few hours ago. The light coming through the window was white and hazy like a sunrise is, and lit up the room very dimly. He was under a blanket and Matoba was next to him, curled around Natsume. He wasn't facing Matoba, and could feel his breath on his upper back, tingling his spine. It was so warm. His arms draped over Natsume tiredly, and together they were a half done mess. Natsume couldn't explain the strange but wonderful feeling he suddenly had. It was perfect. The world was perfect, even for a moment. He closed his eyes gently once more, and savored the sensation.

Matoba woke, and inhaled deeply. His eyes opened slowly, much like Natsume, and as soon as he saw Natsume he snapped out of his tired daze. Matoba's lips formed a sideways smile, and he leaned in to kiss the back of Natsume's neck.

Natsume felt his his awakening touch, and his eyes shot open. "You're awake?" Natsume whispered, afraid his voice would break if he talked.

"Yes," Matoba said deeply. His fingers traced over Natsume's skin, from his shoulder to his elbow.

Natsume thought for a moment, and said, "I had no idea you wanted to do this."

"Well, surprise," Matoba said half-heartedly.

He kissed Natsume's shoulder and turned him over onto his back. Matoba glided over Natsume, bowing his head to bite Natsume's ear.

Natsume gulped very quietly, panicking on the inside. He didn't understand why touches from Matoba would make his heart pound like crazy. Matoba was kissing his neck. Natsume hesitantly raised his arms to hold Matoba, and let his hands smooth over his back. They traced up his spine, and over the shoulder blades.

"These stick out nicely," he suddenly said. He was surprised he said it and his cheeks heated up.

Matoba raised his head to hover above Natsume's face. He smiled very softly. "Touch me, Natsume. Touch me more."

He sat up, straddling Natsume. He grabbed one of Natsume's hands and put his palm over his chest.

He felt Matoba's chest rise and fall as he breathed in and out. He felt a heart beat under his hand. Matoba let go of his hand.

Natsume gingerly and shyly let his hand move down to his abdomen, tracing every muscle, looking at Matoba, really looking at him. He stopped after Matoba's waist, and pulled his hand away. He was probably red in the face already.

He let his eyes meet Matoba's gaze. He was staring at Matoba intensely, very seriously, and Natsume was sure he forgot how to breathe. It all suddenly fell apart, and Matoba was smiling that sideways smile. He leaned to to kiss Natsume, but it was so gentle he wasn't sure if he had actually kissed him.

"I had fun, Natsume." He traced over Natsume's cheek, looking down at him with a soft smile. Then he got up.

Natsume just lied there, and for some reason, knew he was on the verge of tears.

Why? Why was he feeling this way? Matoba was dressing himself, and he was glad Matoba didn't see his face. He turned over, so he wouldn't face him.

He was pretty sure it was because he realized what Matoba meant. He didn't actually care for Natsume, to him this was just "fun". The only reason why Matoba wasn't just going to throw him away now was because of his abilities, and he would probably want to do this again.

He realized who he had given himself to. He wasn't sure if he regretted it completely, but a part of him pulled at his heart strings, and he shook his head, really trying to hold it together.

Natsume sat up, looking at Matoba, who tied the last knot on his robes, and threw Natsume's clothes in his direction. Natsume caught them, giving a small smile to hide his anxiousness.

"I don't know how I'm going to hide all of these…" Natsume mumbled, turning over and scanning his wrists to look at dark marks Matoba left.

"Clothes," Matoba suggested. Natsume rolled his eyes. But Matoba continued. "I guess you'll have to stay with me a little longer, to give them time to heal. You don't want your family to see them, right?"

Natsume looked down at the bed sheet. "I would have thought that you'd just replace them."

Matoba walked across the room and gently lifted Natsume's chin to meet his gaze. "Then I'll be more careful next time, as to not inconvenience you."

Natsume's heart beat. Except it beat more fully, so alive. Whenever Matoba touched him, it was like an electric charge. Why? Why did he feel like this? Matoba didn't even love him, so why did his heart pound as if he did? God, he was so confused.

Matoba kissed his lips, and Natsume was so still, even though on the inside of his mind everything was a bloody disaster. Chaos. Chaos everywhere.

When Matoba pulled away, Natsume breathed in. He hadn't realized that he had been holding his breathe the whole time.

Suddenly he remembered Madara would come. That he was going to get the Book of Friends. That no matter what, he was going to leave this place at midnight. That was the plan.

That was the plan...

Matoba was completely unaware he was thinking these things, and Natsume was grateful for that. Things were different, though. With this new occurrence, Natsume wanted to stay, but knew he couldn't. He still couldn't trust Matoba. Their relationship was too strange, and there was something dark about it.

"Come on, Natsume, get dressed before someone sees you," Matoba teased.

Natsume's eyes widened in surprise. "Would someone come in?"

Matoba laughed. "No, just kidding. It's not their place."

Natsume stared at him. "Not their place..." He sighed and started to put the robe on.

Matoba was well-respected indeed, but forbidden, like the ceiling of an ancient chapel, and unreachable, the the top of an old oak. Never touched and never messed with. He was too above anyone else to be enjoyed in company. Did Matoba have any friends? Any real friends? Not the social exorcists who talked about him with ill-feelings when his back was turned during meetings and events, but friends that cared about his well-being.

He thought of his own friends. He had gone from none to so many, and in such a short time. And he had a family. A family who loved him, who showed him kindness. He was sure if he ever told them about his secret, they would still care about him. But it was a blessing as well as a curse, and he didn't think that having them see the cons was worth it.

"Do you want breakfast?" Matoba asked.

Natsume nodded. Breakfast sounded good right now.

* * *

Misuzu gleeful waited near the Fujiwara residence, being untiredly watchful. He certainly would not be responsible for the death of Natsume's family, and since it was, after all, for Natsume, he would of course do his best as a guard.  
Madara had ordered him to keep close to the Fujiwara's residence. Since he was one of the most powerful spirits there, he could defend the humans from Hiso.

Hiso was an old and ancient fire spirit, and more of a legend than anything else. Few had ever seen him. He was a dangerous mystery sleeping within a circle of flame, so that no one could get to him. Misuzu wondered what his affiliation with Reiko could have been. How was it possible that she ever met him? It was one of the most difficult things to try and simply see a fire spirit. He gave a low laugh of inward amazement. If she actually tried to bully and take his name like so many others, it couldn't have ended well. To see a fire so great reduced to nothing but a lighter to only give flame on demand was something she probably couldn't resist. Of course not. She was Reiko. But then again, she was only human.

Misuzu patiently watch as Touko stepped out of the house with a basket of linen. She took clips and started hanging sheets to dry in the cool autumn wind. He couldn't help but notice how she worriedly watched the road, as if she expected something or someone to walk up to her house any second. Perhaps she was just thinking of Natsume. Wanting him to come back home. Misuzu knew it would be some time before that happened. He rested his head on his hooves. Hopefully, all this Hiso business would soon be over.

* * *

Madara hadn't had a drink of sake in days. It was torture.

Last night when he had gathered Natsume's loyal group of friends, he had told them all of Natsume's current situation. They were now working as a team to ensure the safety of Natsume and the people he cared about. Misuzu was guarding the Fujiwara's, Hinoe was watching over Natsume's friends, Natori would give him a place to stay when Madara helped Natsume escape, doing what he could to prepare seals and provide the equipment needed to take down Hiso.

And what was he himself doing? Waiting. Guarding. He had regained the energy he lost in that house in no time. Flying away from there was like taking a breath of air after being held underwater for too long. It was a good plan. It worked and made sense. Natsume would be out of there soon, and hopefully he would be able to get a lead on the location of Hiso. A lead would be nice. Fire spirits hid themselves well, and you never saw them coming. The best thing they could do was find him before he found them.

He wasn't exactly sure how he was supposed to rescue Natsume. It would be at midnight, when everyone was asleep. He guessed a quiet slip away from Natsume's room window, and that would certainly catch Matoba off-guard. Madara smiled. He would love to make a fool out of that stupid exorcist. He looked up at the morning sky. Midnight would not come soon enough.

* * *

Natsume got dressed quickly. He felt Matoba's eyes gazing at him and watching his every move, and it made him self-conscious. "Any plans for today?" he asked to distract him.

"We're going to the forest that you described. Nanase remembered a wildfire that lasted for a whole night, but it's very far from here."

"How far?" He felt Matoba come from behind and hug his waist. Natsume's heart was pounding unsteadily at the unexpected touch.

"Western Honshu." Natsume raised his eyebrows. That was pretty far. Matoba sighed against his skin. "Come with me," he whispered.

Natsume smiled. "Where else would I go?" He took Matoba's hand with one last glance at the table that held the Book of Friends.

Matoba led him down some very familiar halls until they reached a room he was sure was the same room they had breakfast in the first time. He felt very tired, and he thought it must be because of the seals. Natsume gratefully sat down in one of the chairs, next to Matoba.

"I guess we're going right after this," Natsume reflected, "just like last time."

Matoba gently smiled at him and nodded. He was staring at him intently, waiting for him to eat. Natsume took some rice for himself in realizing this. Something was on his mind. He wondered why the seals were making him feel so weak. Was it even the seals? It couldn't be, though. Their purpose was to ward off evil spirits.

He thought about asking, and pondered it for several seconds before he mustered the courage to say anything. It was a strange question. Matoba probably didn't even know, and that's what convinced him to ask.

"Matoba?" he started.

Matoba's gaze shifted to Natsume's eyes. "Yes?" He rested his head on his palm and patiently watched Natsume.

Natsume's eyes trailed down to his plate of food. "Why are the seals making me feel this way?"

He raised his eyebrows at the unexpected question. Matoba sighed with uncertainty and leaned back in his chair, thinking about what he should say.

Whatever he was thinking put a smile on his face. He mysteriously looked up at a window with that smile of his. "They can ward off spirits…" Matoba shot a quick glance at him, "...or things _not_ completely human." Natsume's shoulders stiffened. Then that would mean, for some reason, that some part of him was not human. "I don't really know. It's never happened to a human before, but you're not like others," he said thoughtfully. He now was looking at Natsume with something like amazement. Matoba leaned in closer to Natsume, and Natsume almost forgot to breath. He lowered his voice to a sharp and breathy whisper. "Your hair and your eyes are…" he paused and ran his fingers through Natsume's hair. "...surprisingly light. Just like a youkia. And I've told you before of how you remind me of a cat youkai. I feel like there's a connection between that and your impressive, natural skills." He then leaned back into his chair, and Natsume relaxed a little. "Unfortunately, I have no idea as to what that connection might be."

Natsume felt a little disappointed. "I wish I knew…" he mumbled, looking away. He felt a warm hand touch his inner thigh. Natsume was taken by surprise and almost flinched at the sudden touch. He stared at Matoba with wide eyes. "You're a mystery," Matoba whispered. Natsume closed his eyes. He was grateful no one else was in the room.

* * *

Hiso was old.

He certainly didn't feel like it, though. What humans considered old was pathetic. 100 years felt like a blink of an eye to him. It did. Before he met Reiko.

He should have been smart. The whole time, ironically, he'd been playing with fire. Even knowing what she liked to do to ayakashi -trick them into giving her their name- he couldn't keep himself from watching her secretly, daily, and even sometimes talking to her. She was one of the most interesting humans he ever met, and all she ever did was smile.

But he could see right through it. And he let himself become friends with a human. He saw a lot of himself in her, and for that reason, their friendship was probably inevitable anyway. He wasn't like most ayakashi, and she wasn't like most humans. They were both somewhere in between, on the same wavelength, and they found each other. Both secretly knew that that was exactly what they had both wanted for the longest time. To not be alone.

He still had not forgiven her. He was sure he never would.

Hiso silently watched from a tree. That stupid horse spirit was the only thing stopping him from attacking what he was sure was the Fujiwara's household. Natsume had been smart to turn into the forest, it delayed his search, but only for a couple of days. He glared at the woman apparently named Touko. She was drying sheets, completely unaware of his gaze.

He would burn that house to the ground.


	11. Early Escape

Natsume was very tired, but he had to keep going or Matoba's shiki would catch up.

He ran through the woods. The book of Friends was in his bag. Matoba hadn't been a fool. He'd immediately expected that he was being played, but Natsume knew that if he didn't act at that moment the Book of Friends would be taken away. And he simply couldn't leave it behind if Madara was coming. It was not an option, but neither was staying with Matoba. So he had to run. He would go to Natori's and seek shelter there until all of this Hiso mess was over. That was all.

He had lost his shoes. The forest floor was scattered with sleek, shiny leaves. It had rained last night, he remembered, when he and Matoba had...he shook his head. Not the time to think about that. There relationship was something else, but right now he imagined Matoba was infuriated.

He winced in pain. Natsume's right foot had a cut from stepping harshly on something. He hadn't been paying attention. He should have, because now that was just another thing slowing him down and even leaving a trail.

If Matoba caught him...God, he couldn't think about that either. He steadily looked ahead with determination. Being taken away again was also not an option. Natsume was panting by now. He wasn't sure how long he'd been running. Maybe the adrenaline had made time an illusion for him. There was one thing he was absolutely positive of: he had to stop. If all he was doing was leaving a trail of his blood, which ayakashi could smell very strongly (Madara said his scent was "yummy"), then there was no point to running. He could hide in a tree and try to cover his wound. He slowed down and glanced behind him. The shiki were no where in sight, yet, but he could sense them getting closer and closer. His eyes searched desperately for a good tree. He spotted one with plenty of infinite leaves to cover him, and with high enough branches to be completely out of sight.

He was careful about his footing. The thick branches he held onto and carefully balanced himself upon smelt like the rain. The wet wood soaked into the skin of is hands as he grabbed onto branches, pulling himself higher and higher. It almost soothed him, almost made him forget about the terrible situation he was in. He could have just been climbing the tree in is front yard. Maybe this was how Hiso felt. Maybe he didn't just hide in trees because he believed they were a great way to spy and stalk others. Maybe he was also looking for some sort of peace below the vaulted sky of leaves.

He placed one of the long sleeves in his mouth and bit down as hard as he could. He pulled away and quickly tore a sufficient piece of fabric from his robe and tied it around his dirt-covered foot. Blood started to to meet the cloth and steadily dampened it until Natsume decided he should tear another piece.

He snapped his head in the direction the shiki were approaching. There were very close now. Alertness filled his features. Should he stay in the tree and risk being surrounded, or keep running and risk being caught up to? If he ran, it was likely they would catch him, but if he stayed he had at least a small chance of not being seen.

It was a very small chance. They could sense him also, just like he sensed them. He was totally screwed. If he ran, he would be caught. If he stayed, he would be caught.

And there was another thing: he had no idea where he was going. This was the forest Hiso had apparently burned. Maybe it was Hiso. Maybe it wasn't. But it had a history, one that involved death and flames, and Natsume took what he could as a lead.

Leaves rustled. Natsume didn't dare breath. He saw one. One of them was just under him. God, what if it looked up? He shut his eyes tight. He refused to be scared. He refused to be scared of Matoba. He refused to be scared of this shiki. He could take it down by himself, but where were the other ten? Was it ten, or twenty? He definitely couldn't fight so many.

Quiet. It had stopped moving. He slowly opened his eyes and looked down. It was staring straight up at him.

He almost screamed. But he couldn't get scared. He wouldn't allow that feeling to muster. Matoba was only a man. And he had defeated his shiki before with a single punch. He could do it again. He took a courageous breath and jumped. Natsume came down with a fist aimed hard at it's face. They both fell with a loud thump, but the shiki was completely out. Natsume's head shot up and looked around. There were another three approaching quickly, but he could feel more coming. He ran.

By now he was almost completely out of breath. One of them was right behind him. He panted against the humid air and kept going. He was running faster. As fast as he could. Then he tripped.

His hands slid against the damp soil and gathered leaves and dirt as he tried to stop himself from falling on his face. He was just getting back up when a hand harshly took his forearm and pulled him closer.

He screamed.

Natsume kicked at the shiki and it momentarily let go, but Natsume lost his balance again and landed harshly on the muddy ground. His white robes were no longer the picture of cleanliness, and neither was his hair or face. The breath was knocked out of him, but he started to crawl away. It grabbed his ankle and he kicked it in the face with a fierce grunt.

The others had caught up and attempted to grab his arms. He elbowed the one on his right, and punched the one of the left with all he had. Natsume was getting back up again when the one he'd kicked in the face suddenly grabbed his hair and pulled roughly from behind. It dragged him down. He yelled in pain and his hands immediately reached above his head to grab it's arm. He clawed at it's skin like a panicked animal.

"Let me go!" he screamed. The one on his left pulled on the strap of his bag, and Natsume realized it was trying to take the Book of Friends. He was at a painful dilemma. If he let go of the shiki's arm the pain of having his hair pulled would only get worse. But making sure the Book of Friends wasn't stolen again was worth it in his eyes.

Or maybe he didn't have to. He arched his back and looked at the shiki holding his hair. With one arm suddenly shooting out he reached for it and and took a fistful of it's robes to pull it close. Natsume pulled it close enough for him to lean back on it and use his legs to kick the other two. They both fell, and he rolled over to punch the one behind him in the face. It had already let go of his hair, and since they were all down, he finally got up again, secured his bag, and ran.

He was breathing heavily, but the adrenaline pulsed through him like an electric shock. He was not going to be taken away. That was not an option. With wide eyes, he glanced at what he left behind. They were still down. He felt such relief as he looked ahead of himself again. He'd kicked them as hard as he possibly could, and it had definitely done it for Matoba's shiki.

They would chase him forever. As long as they had to. And as long as Matoba wanted them to.

He kept running under the sleek, dripping leaves. His hair had become progressively wet already, along with the ends of his robes which kept getting splashed with mud and leaves. The air was too heavy to breath. It was filled with humidity and warmth, as if it was the middle of summer. But it was autumn. Why was this forest so hot?

He glanced back once more, and almost stopped running when he saw they were no longer there. He turned back with new anxiety and suddenly a shiki appeared from above, hidden in a tree just like he had been. He fell back from surprise and was trapped in the middle of a circle of six shiki. They surrounded him, and slowly glided closer and closer with their arms ready to catch him. There was no way out of this.

One of them grabbed his arms from behind to hold him where he was. The others gathered around to completely entrap him. Natsume's heart pounded and he could hardly believe the reality. He struggled with all his might and tried to kick them again, but it didn't work for a second time. They caught his legs and also held them firmly in place.

He yelled and cried out in his unending but pointless attempt to escape. He couldn't face Matoba, because there was no telling what he would do now. He'd acted so romantic and caring this morning, but it wasn't real. He'd given him what he wanted and Matoba was obviously pleased by that but...it wasn't real. He was just another desire Matoba had achieved. Or what if it was worse? It was a joke. A form of amusement for him? Natsume had stopped struggling at the thought, and stilled when that awful feeling hit him. He closed his eyes. He felt like throwing up. What had he done? They were carrying him back to Matoba. He felt so humiliated. Betrayed. Stupid. He shook his head. Matoba was the last person he wanted to see. He just couldn't. Not now. It would be worse than any nightmare.

"Help!" he cried in desperation. His limbs shook violently to wrestle out of the spirits' hold. This simply couldn't be happening. He had cried out again when one of the shiki holding his legs suddenly dropped to the ground. There was a loud thud and each of them stopped walking and turned their heads to the fallen. Then they glanced back at Natsume. Natsume didn't know how it happened either, and they all seemed stunned for a few more seconds, until the other one holding his right leg fell. There was a dark blue dart in it's neck, and the shiki finally realized someone was freeing Natsume, hiding in the trees, and taking them down one by one. Natsume took the opportunity with his newly-freed feet and kicked a shiki that was standing to the left of him. The other three dropped Natsume and took shelter, but one of them fell to the ground with three darts in it's back. He heard more shoot against the wind as they sailed past him to take down the other two, and with success. The forest around Natsume grew suddenly quiet. He was free. He looked around at his sudden fantastic situation with relief covering his features. Natsume's heart raced. He stared up at the strange trees which held so many secrets and history, searching for a giveaway movement. When he saw nothing, he called out, "Who's there?"

He heard and saw some leaves rustle. There was definitely someone up there. He stood back up and brushed the leaves off him. Several questions ran through his head. Was it one of his friends, or was it someone else that only freed him to get the Book of Friends for themselves? The possibility worried him. He held on tightly to the strap of his bag. This person had very good aim, and he wasn't sure what was in those darts.

The person was lowering himself. He only saw glimpses of a blue robe and brown hair, and then, feet. They were bare and looked very small and agile as they walked on a branch and dropped down to the next one. Natsume took a step closer and the person paused. He stopped as well and waited. Both were still, until suddenly, it jumped out of the tree completely and landed in front of Natsume. There was a slight _whoosh_. Two intense, blue eyes stared down at him with a mysterious smile.

It was a woman. Though she didn't seem human. She didn't seem hostile, either.

"Who are you?" Natsume questioned.

She tilted her head, examining Natsume. He had the absurd feeling that she was looking through to the back of his skull. When the stranger approached him he stood still, stuck in the extreme state of bewilderment she put him in. Her smile fell and her eyes saddened as she stood in front of him.

"So I guess this is what Reiko looked like, huh? Hiso's told me you get mistaken for her quite often." She managed a smile smile and let a delicate hand brush a strand of hair from his face. Natsume's eyes widened. He felt sick.

He breathed shakily. "You know Hiso?" She nodded.

"He's going to kill you. He will kill your family. He will kill your friends. Do you want my help?" Her voice lowered in that question and she leaned down to meet his eyes.

"He's not going to kill them!" Natsume exclaimed. Complete certainty in her tone, like statements. Like there was nothing he could do. He didn't like that.

"Yes, he will. You don't know Hiso like I know Hiso. He's a vengeful fire spirit. And all fires must run on fuel. He's using his hate for Reiko, that's all it is."

Natsume only felt rage, which was unlike him. "That's all it is?" he asked disbelievingly. Bitterness. He realized this was not him and took a deep breath. What was happening to him? He shook his head, not because he refused her offer, but because he was refusing the anger. He didn't know who this person was, though in a strange way he felt as though they had met. He needed help to defeat Hiso, and Natsume would stay true to himself through it all. She watched him carefully, waiting for him to calm down.

Natsume felt dizzy and thought about an honest response. "I don't want him to hurt the Fujiwara's or my friends." He really didn't know if he could trust her, but telling her that was safe enough considering how obvious it already was. He didn't know how she knew Hiso, or what her intention was with helping him escape Hiso and Matoba. Maybe she was Hiso himself, trapping Natsume.

She grabbed his arm and looked at him with that continuous intense gaze. "Then you have to trust me, Natsume." Her voice was very crisp, and Natsume liked that. Like elusive whispers that have just enough grunge and texture to be alluring.

He gulped and gave a small smile. He felt like he could trust her, but he's felt that way before and ended up falling on his face, needing Madara to come and rescue him. "I...feel like I'm playing right into his hands, and I'm about to be burnt." His lips twitched upward.

She shook her head. She let go of his arm and instead cupped his face in her hands. "You're not. If I save you, then I'm really saving him."

Natsume's eyebrows scrunched together and stayed like that in confusion. He was not sure what she meant by that, but nodded. Something in her voice helped with his decision. It seemed ludicrous, trusting a stranger. But now trust and promises were the things that made up the thin strand of rope he desperately clung to. Hiso wasn't taking that away. He wouldn't take a damn thing. Natsume shrugged. "Okay. Save me, then."

She exhaled and smiled in relief. Her chin lifted up to the sky, and he followed her gaze but felt something coming. He glanced behind him, seeing that more shiki were approaching them, coming at them fast. His eyes widened and his head snapped back to look at what she would do. She took his hands and two white wings spread behind her. His mouth dropped. The woman wrapped her arms around his waist and in several awakening gusts of wind they pushed against the shielding leaves and sailed toward the clouds. Natsume stared at what was below, what they'd left behind in an imaginary cloud of dust. Matoba's shiki was staring up at them with their black eye sockets. Nothing they could do now. Everything was becoming smaller and tinier, unimportant and far away. This was almost how he felt when he flew with Madara, it was just less secure and more exciting.

"Where are you taking me?" His arms were wrapped around her neck, like a hug. He thought it must be uncomfortable for her.

She glanced down at him with an assuring grin. "Do you have a place other than home? Hiso has been watching your house for a while now, so we certainly can't go there, but it seems that one of your servants has been watching for longer. It's a horse spirit. A great one. You've done well for yourself." She looked back into the distance to see where she was going.

Natsume looked away also. New worry was filling him at her words. Hiso was waiting for an opportunity. It made him nauseous. "He's not a servant. He's a good friend. I have another friend. His name is Natori. He's an exorcist..." And he lived in the city, where humans were constantly outside. "Can people see us?"

She nodded. She hadn't tensed when he mentioned his secret job that involved putting spirits like her in jars for eternity. Exorcist. And her face was placid if she even thought anything of it, besides that assuring smile. "Only you. Clear as day. If he's in a city with humans we're going to have to go on foot for a while."

Natsume frowned. "He is." He wished he had a phone.

She gave a low chuckle. "Lead the way."

* * *

Natori waited outside the Fujiwara's door. He was looking around to see who was watching, eyes searching in the trees and in every spot that this Hiso could possibly hide. He only turned around when he heard the sound of a door sliding and Mrs. Fujiwara's sweet but surprised voice saying his name.

"You're here for Natsume, right?" she asked with a smile. Natori could hear worry, uncertainty. It was all under that strained smile.

He nodded. "Why yes, but I of course love your company as well."

She laughed and blushed. He knew he was charming. He took of his hat and glasses and gave a small smile. "Would you like something to drink?" she offered. He stepped into the house after her and closed the door behind him. Her back was turned.

"Yes, thank you." She disappeared behind the corner and he took out seals from his jacket pocket, placing them on the door and wherever else he could so it wasn't too obvious. He was hiding them. He tried placing them high so that Touko wouldn't reach them and try to take them off. If something happened to Misuzu these would only delay Hiso for a short while. But at least they would have some time. He wasn't exactly sure how he was going to place them in every entrance (including windows), but it had to be done. He would use his charm.

"So where is Natsume?" he pretended, naturally, not to know. He had wandered into the kitchen. There was a window there.

Touko glanced at him as she poured some tea. She set down the kettle and handed him a warm glass. She had let the worry come to her face. "He's been gone for a while. I called his friend, Tanuma, and he said Natsume was with him. I'm concerned. I've told him before that it's okay to stay with friends but he has to tell me first." She sighed and shook her head.

He stared at her for a moment, saying nothing, just listening.

She stared back and gave a quiet, embarrassed laugh. "I'm sorry, Natori." She waved her hand as if to try and make him forget she said anything.

"No, it's fine," he said honestly. The Fujiwara's really did care about Natsume. It made him kind of glad and sick at the same time, because he knew something was trying to come after them. It would be a tragedy if something happened to them. He could hardly imagine how Natsume would feel. It wasn't his place. It wasn't his place to tell them. Right now his job was to secretly provide them with protection. She needed to hear something besides the truth. "When I was about his age I would unfortunately do that to my dad also, but I was always fine. I'm sure Natsume is too," he lied through his teeth. He gave a small, reassuring smile.

She smiled back and nodded. They talked more about Natsume, and when Touko turned her back he hastily put another seal on the window, hidden and out of reach. He kept asking questions, genuinely engaged but also trying to distract her. He would point to a photo or an object he was slightly curious about and take another seal out. She was unconsciously being lead around her own home. He wasn't sure how he would get upstairs. That certainly wouldn't happen when her husband was at work.

"I don't think I've ever been in Natsume's room before," he mentioned, hoping to lead her on.

She smiled genuinely. He had slowly cheered her up, letting her talk and being a good listener, reminding her of good memories and simply being a friend even though he was mostly Natsume's. He was sure she appreciated the fact that he found her interesting. He made everyone feel like they were interesting.

"It's very simple. He keeps it clean, but he has a few interesting objects in there." She laughs. "I'm not sure where he gets them from."

"Like what?" he smiles.

She thinks for a moment. "There is a koto in there. It's very pretty. Do you want to see his room?" She shakes her head. "No, nevermind. I think Natsume would want to show you himself."

They were at the foot of the stairs. He was so close. He had to think of something. "Actually," he started, "I wanted to come here today to apologize to Natsume for something I did. I wanted to give him something. Do you think..." He was using all of his acting skills now. Pretending to feel guilty and sincere. He shook his head. "No, nevermind."

She leaned in very slightly in curiosity. "What is it?" She had concern in her voice. He shook his head again.

"It's okay."

"No, really. Tell me."

He stared at her with his best look of uncertainty. "I was hoping I could give it to him, so can I put it in his room myself? Since he's not here?"

She nodded and smiled as if she thought it was cute. "Aw. Okay, then." She shot him one curious but sympathetic look and started up the stairs.

He hadn't done anything to Natsume, and he hadn't brought a gift. It was all just a spontaneous lie, but he was being led upstairs so it had worked. He only had the seals, his hat, his glasses...

"Do you want to tell me what it was that you did to him?" she asked this with no anger in her voice.

"I was hoping Natsume would tell you. To be honest, I thought you would be mad that I had hurt your son's feelings."

She stopped. Natori did too. Both of their right hands were on the railing. She turned back only slightly and sighed when she looked at him. "Well, you seem pretty sincere. And really, sometimes I have the certain feeling that there are big things Natsume doesn't tell me. I can't force him to."

She turned around to face him completely, and was about two steps above him. Her eyes looked sad. An unusual look for Touko. She avoided his gaze. Natori was staring up at her in surprise. She exhaled shakily, but quietly. "Do you..." she said in a small voice, "Do you think that he knows he can tell me anything?"

They were both quiet. Natori was still looking at her with bewilderment. Where did this come from? "Touko..." he trailed off, not knowing what to say for the first time.

Her eyes finally wandered into his. "Do you?"

Touko had wondered about this before. She wasn't as unknowing as Natsume thought she was. She still worried about him, had these quiet thoughts in her heart that made her uncertain and scared. She never let them muster. It was probably easier to show these things to a charming person who makes her feel interesting than to Natsume himself. Things she wants to say, but can't say.

He swallowed. "Yes," he whispered. There was no acting or charm or courteous reassurance. It was the truth. What the real Natori honestly believed. Natsume knew he could tell at anytime on any day, he just didn't want to worry them. But perhaps keeping secrets just worried them more. He had never heard of a lie that makes people happy. Truly happy. Natsume had to tell them on his own time. It wasn't Natori's place to tell Touko and Shigeru.

She looked relieved, as if she could almost sense the difference between his acting and his whole-hearted sincerity. "I'm glad." She smiled, and Natori did too. She even laughed. "That's good."

They continued up the stairs. He placed his glasses on Natsume's futon and when Touko shot him a curious look all he said was, "It's like an inside joke. He'll understand." An inside joke that didn't exist. He just didn't have anything else to give as an "apology". An apology for nothing.

He needed to put seals in the upstairs, but he obviously couldn't do that with Touko watching him. He had asked to use the restroom. She let him use the upstairs one since they were already there.

"It's down the hall. Very last door on your left. I'm going to go back downstairs, okay?" Natori nodded. She was very trusting. He went in the direction she pointed in, but when he was sure she had gone completely downstairs he put a seal in every window and entrance he could find, and in a hurry. She was waiting for him downstairs with a small paper bag.

"I had made rice balls last night and I wanted to give you one. You're a very good listener." Natori almost felt guilty. He knew what he was doing was simply protecting them, but it was strange to be sneaking around her house and putting things in her home she did not permit him to put.

"Thank you so much, Touko." He took the bag and paused. "I'm really sorry."

"For what?" she laughed and rubbed him arm. "You're a good man. Just a good man."

He managed the smallest of smiles and looked at the floor. "I don't always think so."

She tilted her head. She was smiling with her eyes. "I think so." He looked back up to her gaze.

"Thanks for everything, Touko. I think that you're a good lady. And Natsume really cares about you."

She nodded and made an airy laugh. Touko made her way to the door and Natori followed. "Goodbye Touko."

"Goodbye. Good luck with Natsume." His eyes widened for a second, forgetting about his lie. He turned back and gave her a questioning look. "I hope that apology works," she explained.

"Oh", he said in realization. "Thanks. I hope everythings works out between you and Natsume, too. See you later."

She shared one last look and Touko shut the sliding door. He walked to the entrance of their gate. Misuzu followed him with his eyes. "Did you do it?" Misuzu asked.

Natori nodded and put on his hat. "Where's Hinoe?"

A gust of wind blew in the opposite direction of where Misuzu sat. He saw Hinoe holding a large basket.

"So you found enough?" Natori asked. Hinoe chuckled.

"With the help of your shiki and the middle-class spirits, I did." Hiiragi appeared beside her, the pockets of her robes were filled with as many rocks as she could carry.

"Then we should start placing them. Remember we have to make a circle around the house. These are all from the same river, right?"

Hinoe nodded. "Only one river." She placed the basket down.

"Good. Let's begin."

* * *

Natori took a train back to his apartment. Madara was still there, and when he walked in he was bashing it out with one of his shiki.

"Hey, kitty, why don't you just leave my shiki alone?" Natori questioned, annoyed. They were both enduring each other. Natori was letting him stay with him. They had to work together, and actually did once when Natsume disappeared before. His cold apartment had become the center of planning. They were waiting for midnight.

Madara stopped. The shiki looked pleased. "Hmph. Maybe if your shiki would leave me alone."

Natori shook his head. He was tired of Madara's sense of entitlement.

It was getting late in the evening. Natori took a seat on his couch and continued reading all he could find on fire spirits. There were several different types, but he was looking for one in a human form. He wondered if Hiso could change his appearance from animal to human like Madara could. If that was the case then how could they trust anyone when anyone could be Hiso?

He flipped through the book. Madara steadily watched the sky outside. When the doorbell rang they both turned their heads to the entrance, then looked at each other.

"Expecting someone?" Madara asked.

Natori shook his head. "I didn't invite anyone."

He got up from his couch and crossed the room. Natori looked the the peephole and looked again to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him.

He could not help but show his complete surprise when he opened the door. Natsume was standing in front of him, in white robes covered with dirt. He was barefoot and one of his feet seemed to be bleeding.

There was a spirit behind him, a women with wings and brown hair. Natsume was panting and flustered. He looked so tired. They both stared at each other. Madara was also surprised and the room was quiet in those few seconds, until Natsume suddenly fainted _._

"Natsume!" Natori ended up catching him as he fell foward. He carried the boy to his couch and layed him down.

He looked at Madara."I thought you said he wanted you to get him at midnight."

Madara was staring at Natsume strangely. "That was the plan."

They both turned their heads to the woman with wings. She stared back at them with a small smile.

"Who are you?" Madara asked first.

She looked at him. "You must be Nyanko-sensei. He told me about you on our way here."

Madara looked slightly annoyed. "Yeah, I'm this brat's bodyguard. But who are you?"

She smiled. "You can call me Aki _."_


	12. Betrayal Wrapped in Ribbons

So apparently the last chapter was just a repeat. I updated it to the right thing in manage stories, so tell me if it's still wrong and then I'll just cry or something. Anyway I just wanted to say thank you to all those who reviewed in chapter eleven, especially Lael Mae and Crow. I've gone so far with LM's creative criticism, and I've been motivated by Crow's sincerity. Here's the new chapter, tell me what you think and please by all means let me know if I have something misspelled. Love you guys, love this fandom. ₩aff£etim€

* * *

 **Natsume was shot several strange** and curious looks as he unsteadily staggered on the rough sidewalks of the city. Athough people didn't know it, he was not alone. Beside him was an invisible woman named Aki, who was gazing at the tall buildings in awe. She had probably done her best to stay away from humans, but now she had her reasons to help Natsume. She couldn't possibly be Natsume's friend, but he was considering her as one already, in his own, naive Natsume way. Circumstance brought them together. He smiled when he saw her wide eyes and gaping mouth. Sometimes she would cover her ears and comment on the unending noise. Aki was stuck between utter uncomfort and fresh amazement.

As he got on the bus he glanced behind himself, supposedly looking at nothing (to the bus driver), with a questioning look on his face.

Aki smiled. "I think I'll just fly above this...bus?" She tilted her head.

Natsume gave her a tiny smile back and nodded his head in agreement and approval. He turned back to pay. He had been lucky. Some people had thought he was homeless and gave him just enough money.

He was filthy and smelled like blood and forest, so he couldn't really blame them. Natsume half-hoped to escape the stares people had given him on the streets by taking the bus. He sat down and let out a weary sigh. People sent him glances, still. Some were sympathetic, some disgusted. He was tired of both attitudes. He was tired in general. At least he didn't have to walk as much as he would have if it weren't for the compassionate but confused people that gave him money. His foot stung. He hoped it wouldn't get infected, if it wasn't already.

The bus stopped in front of a building he recognized. He remembered Natori's building was just around the corner. He practically leapt off the bus in eagerness, ready and relieved to be somewhere safe. Wings flapped above him. Aki hovered with amusement in her eyes. "This Natori must be a very good friend. Are we close by?"

He glanced up at her. "Yeah, very."

Natsume broke off into a sprint and rushed passed the typical buildings and faces, a smile spreading on his lips when he saw Natori's building. So close, and getting closer with every step. A woman walked out with a purse in hand and he raced to catch the door. If Natori wasn't even there, then Natori wouldn't be able to buzz him in. This was luck. Natsume knew he needed it. A hospitable wave of AC air brushed against him. He lowered his head to obscure his face. The old man at the front desk had not noticed his presence, or if he did, had not acknowledged it. He was writing something on a piece of paper. Natsume glanced sideways and in seeing a door labeled "stairs", quickly paced towards it.

From the corner of his eye he saw the manager look up from the desk just as Natsume grabbed the handle.

"Excuse me young man?" he called.

Natsume pretended not to hear and anxiously continued to step through the door. He ran up the stairs in haste. They were a long flight of stairs which he was not looking foward to climbing. Natsume felt exhausted as hell, but he refused to pass out now, when he was so close. His legs felt heavy, like he was running through wet sand. Like there was no existing marble to push against and depend upon. He tripped and fell once, his head eclipsing the light on the reflective floor. He could see his exhausted reflection in the white marble. He panted heavily, and Aki glided coolly behind him.

"I believe it would be alright to fly you up, if you wish," she offerred with a smile.

Natsume slowly pushed himself back up and turned his head to stare at her with no expression. He hadn't even thought of that, but he wasn't about to refuse.

"Take me to the fifth floor, please," he requested wearily. His voice sounded raspy. He hadn't noticed how thirsty he was.

Aki's face lit up with glee. "You humans are so strange," she murmured. She looked up at the flight of stairs. "The fifth floor..."

Natsume tiredly leaned back on her and let her fly him above the treacherous stairs. He was thankful that no people were around. He recognized the hallways and stumbled carelessly, searching for Natori's door. He knocked weakly. His strenght was diminished. This was how he felt whenever he gave back a name, but worse. He had to wait for a long minute and was going to knock again when he heard someone from the inside unlocking the door.

He met familair eyes. Natori was gaping at him, eyebrows scrunched in confusion. He saw the lizard slither up his neck, and noticed Natori wasn't wearing his usual glasses. He took Natori's confused expression and decided then that it was safe to finally faint. He didn't remember falling foward. He didn't remember Natori catching him just like he did when they first met in that grassy field.

Natsume rested on Natori's couch for the next two hours. Everything had faded to black, and dreams took him.

Natsume adjusted his seat belt and rubbed his hands anxiously on the leather car seat. He had to get it away from Matoba. It was at Matoba's feet, in Natsume's school bag. He glanced down at it, then back at Matoba, trying to think of what he could do. Matoba himself was distracted with looking out the window, but Natsume knew he was too smart to be oblivious to Natsume's nervous energy. Matoba gave Natsume an amused sideways glance, as if Natsume's hope that Matoba wouldn't look at him was jinxed. Or maybe Matoba could practically hear Natsume's plotting thoughts, which was more likely. After spending three days with this man, Natsume realized Matoba was very, very good at predicting what he wanted.

In bed it was a good thing. Right now it wasn't.

Natsume quickly looked away and pretended to be watching the passing orange trees. Fall had settled comfortably in the leaves and air for a while now. He wished he could be enjoying it rather than be stuck in this stupid, horrible situation he'd been in stuck in for too long already.

He felt Matoba's cool touches and tried to ignore them, which was almost impossible. His fingers brushed against Natsume's hand and slowly slid under his sleeve, traveling steadily up his arm, past his elbow and then back down to his wrist. Natsume shivered, not because of his cold touch, but the _way_ he touched him. It always somehow made each of his nerves tingle. It was awakening.

Natsume let himself look at Matoba. Matoba was staring at him with that strange, deep look he liked to give Natsume. It was a dark gleam in his eyes that now made Natsume's heart stop. He had to focus on breathing when Matoba leaned in to kiss him. He kissed him with deliberate slowness, and Natsume stayed dreamily still. He let himself fall into the rhythm of it as he started to pick up the pace. Matoba slid his hand under Natsume's robes, gliding from Natsume's knee to his inner thigh. Natsume breathed in sharply and leaned in, which only made Matoba more urgent. It was getting too passionate, but he couldn't seem to stop. His hands wanted to touch as much of Natsume's bare skin as possible. Matoba pulled away abrubtly. Forcing himself to hold back. Natsume stared at him with wide eyes.

They were both breathing heavily. Matoba was shaking his head and looking away from Natsume. "I really need to control myself," he panted.

Natsume leaned back, still staring at Matoba. He raised an eyebrow. Matoba looked at him and only laughed. Natsume relaxed. "You were really holding back, weren't you?" he asked softly.

Matoba only smiled. The car had stopped. Thankfully dark glass blocked the driver from seeing what they'd just been doing. An idea was starting to form in Natsume's head. His eyes flickered to the Book of Friends, and carefully raised back to Matoba. Matoba unbuckled his seat belt and reached for the door handle, but Natsume gently grabbed his arm to stop him. Matoba gave him a questioning look.

"I don't want you to hold back," Natsume said.

"Natsume..." Matoba started, but before Matoba got his chance to disgree Natsume rushed in to kiss him. He felt Matoba smile and he felt his hands on his waist, pulling him closer. Natsume glided onto his lap. He needed Matoba to give in completely. He opened his eyes as he kissed Matoba and watched the Book of Friends. Distracting Matoba was simple. Distracting him enough so that he would forget about the mysterious book was pretty much unachievable. This was his only chance. Though the odds, he calculated, were most certainly not in his favor. With over a dozen shiki, several other exorcists accompanying them, and a forest ahead Natsume was very likely to get lost in, it was now or never.

He kissed him deeply and leaned in, really only to be able to reach the door's lock. He switched it to unlock without a sound.

Natsume knew the next part would happen very fast. He braced himself for everything that could go wrong. He entwined his fingers in Matoba's hair and pressed against his chest. Matoba slid his hand up Natsume's thighs. They explored upwards to Natsume torso and pushed him away very gently. Natsume stared at him, cautiously watching for any suspicion in his features. Matoba was always careful and held his smile, never giving anything away.

"What are you doing, Natsume?" Matoba questioned.

Natsume tried to stay relaxed. He forced a confused smile and let his hands travel down to rest on Matoba's chest. "What do you mean?" Natsume asked in all his fakeness. Answering with a question just to play it safe. The only thing he could do, he thought, as Matoba's hold on him became tighter. The air was suddenly filled with hostility that anyone else wouldn't have detected. Matoba had gotten at better at reading him, but that went both ways. Hostility was the kind of feeling he had to deal with a little too often, anyway. Matoba looked at the door, and something in his expression just told Natsume he'd noticed the door was unlocked. Natsume stiffened when Matoba's eyes carefully raised back to Natsume's again with a fresh knowingness. Natsume forgot to breath.

"You know we can't do anything, not now. I though you had better timing than that." Matoba spoke cooly.

He could feel Matoba's eerily calm heart beat under his hands. Natsume's hands balled into fists. The pretend confusion fell away, replaced by an icy glare worse than Matoba's.

"I wasn't planning on it," Natsume said fiercely.

He punched Matoba as harshly as he could, straight to the eye that wasn't charmed. Matoba momentarily let go and Natsume lunged for the door. He fell right out of Matoba's lap and onto the side of an unfamiliar road. Matoba followed him, trying to grab him.

Natsume elbowed him in his stomach when he caught him from behind. "Natsume!" Matoba yelled in anger. Natsume seized his school bag, and so did Matoba. He tugged hard enough to make Natsume stumble foward and backhanded him in complete infuriation. Natsume fell onto the soft dirt, loosing his grip on the bag. He rubbed the cheek Matoba hit and glared up at him.

"You couldn't keep me forever, Matoba." Natsume took his opportunity on the ground and kicked at his left knee to make it bend unnaturally. He lunged for his bag and Matoba's grip on it loosened, enough so that Natsume could yank it away from his possession. He pushed off the ground and ran faster than he had ever run from any spirit in his lifetime. Matoba was grasping his knee. "Natsume! Hiso will kill you if he is really in this forest! I can protect you! Natsume!" he called after. Matoba didn't even sound angry, but Natsume refused to look back.

* * *

It had been an uncomfortable two hours with Aki staring at Natori. Natsume was breathing steadily on his couch. Natori had already cleaned and bandaged Natsume's foot. He paced the room restlessly. Aki quietly watched him, but he didn't like the feeling of being examined. Madara had gone out to the balcony, and they had been sitting in silence.

She had explained how she was a friend of Hiso and since then the air had become tense, and the feeling hadn't faded. Her head followed him as he paced across the room to the kitchen. He was going to get a glass of water just to escape her weird stares. It was like she'd never seen a human before, if that was possible. He could hardly handle the awkward silence. He took a sip of water and tried to clear his head. Natsume had escaped Matoba and his Shiki, but he wouldn't have been able to escape if it weren't for Aki. For that Natori could at least try and be nice to her. She still couldn't have his trust, however. Her intentions were a big mystery that impeded her chances of gaining trust.

He wasn't sure why Natsume could not wait until midnight, like he requested from Madara in the first place. Maybe something had gone wrong. Or maybe Matoba had just been too unbearable for him.

He left the kitchen and his glass of water behind, ignoring Aki and crossing the room to stand by Natsume with his hands in his pockets.

"Natsume...," he murmured in hopes of not waking him, "...is a good friend of mine. You mentioned a forest you so kindly flew him away from. Do you know what the name of that forest was?"

"It's just a forest. A home, for many of us. I would not recommend going there to fight," she said cooly.

Natori fought a suspicious glare and assumed a sentient expression. Scaring her off with accusations would only impede their probably vain search for Hiso. He slightly turned to her.

"And are you one of the residents?"

She carefully brushed her brown shoulder-length hair back. "I am."

Natori nodded and looked down at the ground, taking his hands out of his pockets and folding them behind his back. He took a few steps around Aki, almost circling her until he turned on his heel and walked the other way. He was pacing. He only ever did that whenever he was too anxious and it was getting hard to contain.

"You want to protect your home don't you?" he asked softly.

Aki nodded from the corner of his eye. He stopped pacing and looked at her. "Natsume wants to protect his. He has a family. You know that, but you don't exactly care for his family or whether he loses them or not. You really only want to 'save' Hiso, don't you?"

Aki stared blankly at him, and Natori was her reflection. "I don't want Natsume to suffer..." she said quietly. She lowered her eyes. It almost sounded as if she wanted to continue the sentence, agree with Natori just a little. She was denying herself. Natori couldn't help but laugh. She looked up in confusion.

"Of course you don't, that's not your intention. But if Natsume ends up sufferring the way Hiso wants it's not really your problem, is it? You want to have Hiso as your own little box of matches, and as far as I can tell, that might have been what Reiko wanted as well. You're betraying him. When you say you want to save Hiso, what you are really saying is...you want to save yourself. Nothing would make you happier than to have Natsume's existence not be an existence anymore. Not to Hiso, anyway. It's a distraction that's making too many sparks in your precious box of matches, Aki. You want to take care of Natsume yourself. How very selfish of you." His eyes were stone cold. He had put his hands back in his pockets. She glared up at him. Her chest rose and fell with a knew heaviness, and her hands balled into fists.

Her lips twitched upward. "Selfish?" She questioned in shaky exasperation. "Takes one to know one."

Natori gave a small smile laced with sweet poison. "I suppose that once in a while you could...describe me as selfish. I had never thought of myself as a good person. Ever since I met Natsume, however, I couldn't help but notice my thoughts... my actions slightly changed. Before I met him I probably would have either sealed you or killed you, without a second thought. You must not be very familiar with humans but once in a while you find someone as rare and as kind as Natsume. But I like to believe that in some aspects I slightly changed Natsume, too."

He paused and sighed, eyes never leaving hers. "I've never liked myself, as well as I like myself, as when I'm with him. He's my friend."

He took some slow steps toward her and stood in front of her casual, sitting pose. He looked down at her and she glowered up at him, trying to hide her guilt, her confusion. She was falling apart at the seams and desperately tried to keep herself level. "Don't you want to cry?" he asked. There was no compassion in his voice or face. He stared at her with a stoic expression. But she nodded. Her heart wasn't as tough as he thought it was. But he wouldn't have any compassion for someone who let the idea of killing Natsume settle so comfortably. Natsume probably would. Naive as ever. But he had asked for help from everyone. In some ways, he had changed.

"Are you going to kill him?" Natori asked.

Tears rolled down her cheeks and she wiped them away. "I never wanted to. I just...I don't want anyone to die. This...this obsession Hiso has with getting revenge changed him. The Natsume's really know how to change others, don't they?" She buried her face in her hands. "I just want Hiso back..." she said. He could hear every ounce of pain. It was as if Hiso had died.

He looked away. "I'm sorry. I needed to know if I could trust you."

She shook her head. "You are a good friend to him. I want to be a good friend to Hiso. Maybe you understand."

He glanced at Natsume's peaceful state. "I understand I gave you some rough accusations. I hope you can still stand my presence."

She wiped the remaining tears off her face. "As much as you can stand mine," she whispered. She looked up at him.

He smiled at that, and his eyes trailed to the floor and back up to look at the window and the sun setting behind the city. "You're a good friend, too. But what are you going to do if you can't change Hiso back to whoever he was, before he became obsessed with revenge?"

She lowered her head. "I...don't know."

The room was quiet, colder. Aki sat in silence for the rest of the time. Natori was done questioning her intentions, for now. He strode over to Natsume and sat on the very edge of the couch.

Natsume was a deep sleeper, it seemed. Natori wondered if he was dreaming and thought back to the time he'd invited Natsume on a hot springs trip. Natsume had woken up crying, and he'd offered Natsume a life with him, whenever Natsume got sick of lying. It was selfish of him, but Natori couldn't help but think with an ounce of hope that maybe this experience would convince him to leave the Fujiwara's. It was too selfish, but Natsume deserved happiness, and he could give it to him.

He allowed himself to touch Natsume's pale arm. He had already decided that he would let Natsume rest for as long as he needed to rest and would wake up on his own time. He was very ginger as he brushed his fingers across Natsume's skin, flirting with his hand and barely touching him. He hadn't gotten to see Natsume in a while, and a part of him wanted Natsume to be conscious. He wanted to know why he had to run away so early, or what Matoba had done. Natori tucked some hair behind Natsume's ear. He probably wouldn't want to talk about it when he woke up, but he was safe. The Fujiwara's were safe. That was all that mattered.

* * *

Hiso watched Touko leave the house. She had changed her shoes and put on a light coat. A paper was in her left hand, a bag in the other. Grocery shopping. He wasn't going to follow her. He had special plans for her and her husband, and he would only kill them while they were in the house. Her husband had not yet come back from work. Hiso had wanted to surprise him.

He imagined him dropping his suitcase at the sight of her blood on the floor, splattered on the walls. He smiled. The only thing really stopping him was the horse spirit guarding them and the seals that exorcist provided them. Fun challenges. It was all a satisfying game. It was his gift to Reiko.

He never understood why she never wanted his name. He had even told it to her, and she never wrote it. She wanted to control him without having his name at her fingertips. Reiko loved a challenge. Something they shared. She never took his gift, his name, the one thing he could give her to show her his trust. She wanted to give a gift first; the burns on his face. Betrayal wrapped in ribbons. If only Reiko could see him now.

* * *

Would you rather have very long chapters with around 5,000 words and have to wait 2 weeks for a new chapter to be posted or would you rather have very short chapters around 1,000 words but get them twice a week? Let me know in your reviews.


	13. Haunted

Rieko had finally found a nice forest. She would come here to take her naps. No one had bothered her so far, but her regular attendance here was recent. She came here to get away from the noise and judgemental eyes of humans. She came here to get away from curious spirits. She was hardly either of those things, and she was just getting away. Escaping beneath the vaulted sky, entwined with long grass that was her shield from the rest of the world. Far from it all, and it was all she needed for a couple of hours.

It was a rainy day in November when she felt eyes on her for the first time. Not human. She'd been able to distinguish from when she felt human eyes and when she felt an ayakashi's eyes on her back. She'd been escaping to this field for three weeks and hadn't been bothered once. Rieko didn't want her streak of solitude to end yet. She layed perfectly still, looking up at the sky to pretend like she didn't feel that imploring stare. Technically, it wasn't bothering her. This was fine for now. It would probably be gone tomorrow. She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Reiko came back the next day. She felt the eyes on her, studying her. The stare wasn't innocent, and she knew because of the uncomfortable tingling that makes the hairs on the back of her neck stand up sharply. She buried herself in the tall grass and waited for it to leave, closing her eyes tight.

She didn't want to deal with this. Reiko secretly wished it would at least attack her. It's intentions were unclear, and if it attacked she could at least figure out what it wanted. She tried to hide herself in the tall grass, lying uncomfortably and trying to distract herself with the clouds and the blade of grass she twirled in her hands. And then she realized this isn't how it should be. There was something pulling her to understand who this being was. She opened her eyes. She stood up, and she yelled at the eyes of the trees to stop watching her and come down. It was getting old, after all. A flash of red. And the eyes that had watched her for weeks in silence had an electric gaze that wouldn't back down. He was a shocking thing to look at. From his hair that might as well be fire, to his hands that must have destroyed cities like all warriors kings do, to his bare feet that belonged to a traveler. And his eyes, the most shocking thing of all, were golden.

* * *

Hiso had slowly creeped closer to the Fujiwara's home, the way sharks circle their pray and get closer and closer with each round. Only he wasn't circling. He was a looming storm in the distance, and this storm was smiling with delight in it's cloudy grayness because of the lightning building inside him. He would cheerily destroy everything on his war path, just like Reiko.

He knew the truth, and had learned it the hard way. That's why there was no slight remorse after any kill. He would only find delight in painting the walls in her blood, to see the face of her husband when he realizes she's dead. He couldn't stop smiling at the very thought, it's why he couldn't stop playing this game. Only now it wasn't just pastime. It was everything.

All humans ever brought was horror. Horror was all they deserved. There was nothing more disgusting to roam the earth. He hated them. He hated her.

* * *

When Natsume came to he understood he was shivering. He sat up in a cold, empty apartment and shook the needless dreams off him. He was not alone. The ayakashi had told the truth. She brought him to the city, despite being Hiso's friend. She was staring at him, with calm yet overpowering eyes and when he turned to look at her she turned her eyes to the wall.

"Aki..." he said gently. He started to shift himself on the couch, and stood but immediately fell back when his legs gave out.

She was beside him in an instant. "Be careful!" she gasped. Natsume opened his eyes and smiled at her.

"Sorry..." He murmured. He was obviously still exhausted. She clenched her fists. He shouldn't have been apologizing, she knew. After all, she had been planning to get rid of him herself. She just couldn't bring herself to. Something about him...

She offered him her hand and helped him stand. He had to balance himself by leaning on her until the room stopped spinning.

Something about you gives me...

Hope.

They stood like that for a while until Aki was worried Natsume had fallen asleep on her. "Natsume?"

* * *

Natori was watching them from behind the glass door of the balcony. Natsume really had changed him. Before he would have killed her without a second thought once he knew of her selfish intentions. And yet he had already forgiven her. "What's wrong with me?" He mumbled.

The sun had left them alone already. The moon looked like it could touch the lighted skyscrapers and cold wind rushed through his hair. He would always love cool city nights like this. He imagined Natsume staying here with him on a night like this, just with less...guests. He glanced at Madara, who had perched himself on the railing and looked down at the noisy cars passing by with his usual placid, skeptical expression.

"That stick boy's naive nature seems a bit contagious, doesn't it?" Natori didn't answer at first. He tore his eyes away from the scene of city life and looked at the exhausted Natsume.

"You didn't outright kill her either."

They stood like statues. Silent, but acknowledging and processing how true their words could be. Natori watched Natsume balance himself with Aki's help through the glass. Aki pointed to the balcony he stood and Natsume locked eyes with him. The moment seemed still, but he smiled and waved, shattering the building emotion from finally seeing him. He slid the glass door open and stepped in, Madara followed.

"How are they?" Natsume asked. "The Fujiwara's?" He was obviously extremely stressed. Natori stood in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

"They're okay for now, Natsume. There are several protection seals, covering every entrance to the house, and there is a protection circle surrounding it. Misuzo is watching over Touko."

Natsume still looked worried. He lowered his eyes to the floor, deep in thought and unending stress. He couldn't comprehend the overwhelming, terrifying thought of losing anyone. The people he loves so dearly, to be taken away. Because of a mystery history that lead to revenge. Because his past came back to haunt him.

Their death would be his fault.

Natori saw the rush of fear. It wasn't something hard to catch when it contrasted against a suddenly pale face.

"Natsume, Hiso could be anywhere. You're not safe if-"

"I'm going back home. Now. I'm going to find out why. I'm sick of playing games." Natsume cut Natori off, already knowing where his sentence was leading. He stared straight back at him, the fear gone. This wasn't the time to be scared.

"You're right, this isn't a game. If Hiso is near the Fujiwara's household and you show up..." Natori brought his hand up to his mouth and rubbed his lips in a frustrated pause. He spoke lower. "If you show up I don't know what that fire spirit will do."

Natsume already did. Hiso had already told him. "He's going to put on a show." He tried to make his voice sound factual and to his surprise it suddenly broke. Unconsciously, he already saw. He saw his dead family and friends. And it was all for Natsume to watch. "It's for me." He whispered. "He taking revenge. Causing me pain. He won't kill me until he knows I have nothing left."

* * *

Whoever finds irony in this gets a prize of spoilers. d;


	14. Fire and Rain

Natsume realized something on a rainy day in November.

* * *

 **NATSUME UNDERSTOOD THAT** he wasn't alone. He couldn't measure loneliness, if it had a weight which surely it must have but he never got into the mathematics of the soul. What was more important was that the lonely past of his was left far behind, and he felt that thought grow more strongly as he sailed through clouds, elevated with the tireless feeling of freedom. The thought grew warm in his heart even when the freezing kisses of the wind ran up his skin.

Natsume inhaled a deep, rainy aroma. Dark tinged clouds pushed each other along, seriously as if they were oppressed by something too demanding and powerful. The group flowed through the weaves of wisps, outlined like clams by the moon. It was quite a sight, but a secret to those taking long night walks. Natsume was hidden from everything below him, as if he were the stars, the moon, and the truth.

What was probably even stranger, was that he felt gratitude moments before an inevitable fight. Everyone was mostly quiet as they chased the currents of the skies, going towards a dangerous destination. The 'silence before the storm' was all Natsume could conclude from it, and so he was left to his own thoughts, fingers entwined in Madara's soft white fur and Natori's close presence felt more invading than a looming shadow. Almost touching, but as if he didn't dare. He loved the Fujiwara's. He loved his friends. He didn't want to let go of that love, because maybe a soft heart was the only thing that ever survived in the world.

He breathed in the fresh, wispy mist without opened eyes, softly exhaling until his body relaxed against the heavy, lively warm body of white fur called Madara. He wasn't in that white robe anymore, but Natori's sweater and jeans, both too large and loose-fitting, but comfortable.

"Are we close?" Natsume called over the rush of wind.

"Yes," Madara rumbled. Natsume felt deep vibrations run through. Shivers shot up his spine not just from the passing cold but by the powerful way he always spoke in this form. He forgot how intimidating Madara could be.

He felt Natori shift behind him, obviously affected by it too. Natsume realized they we starting to descend. The fog was clearing, diminishing and so did the cold. In his resolve he looked back at Natori in hopes of seeing a reflection of readiness beyond the glasses, ingrained in his starry eyes, but he saw even more. Natori would fight and do what ever it took, because Natsume was his friend.

Then Madara swooped down, forsaking the clouds and penetrated the soundless air with experienced precision. It whipped back his hair in swirls of sunny curls as if his head was a comet and his hair was the blazing trail of fire waving goodbye. The rush of it ran through his being, up his veins, and spiked his adrenaline. Freedom is supreme, because it motivates the world and functions by imaginary money and power. Power isn't real unless one uses it, and Natsume would use whatever power he had.

They dropped soundlessly. Natsume's eyes flickered over the raspy huffs blowing heavily over his watering vision. The dwindling neighborhood below him was warm and yellow like evening tea, street lights cradling the cement and glowing window light snapping out the way electricity tends to shock in more ways than one. Electricity fluttered in his brain, energy danced in his limbs, and if his body were a city the streets would have been veins flooded with frantic, tireless parades of fear.

He took in the moment, and let it slide slowly away. He was landing ten miles from his home, to keep their arrival discreet.

Night. From the sidewalks night was not lit by a moon, but by street lights that hung over them protectively. The clouds were the thickest veil possible, eclipsing something he'd already seen before, so what was the point?

What was the point in hiding the truth?

They ran, splitting up. A plan had been made. Natori was with Natsume, Madara with Hinoe, and Aki by herself.

The only one who truly seemed to trust Aki, was Natsume, however careless it was. Aki would try to make Hiso back out it, out of all of this, of this awful skin crawling blood lust. She had known Hiso for so long, had cared so much for him, and perhaps she was the only one who could possibly persuade him to turn away from his vendetta.

For one thing, Natsume was glad his home already had seals put in. It was a delay for Hiso, one that was sure to make him angry.

Natsume just wanted to run to the Fujiwara's, to see them safe and hug them both. He hated deceiving them. He followed close to Natori, hastily walking in the shadows along side this man who probably knew Natsume should have told the truth to his foster parents, but was risking his life anyway. It's what he'd done before, and what he'd probably do a million times. Such loyalty and kindness gave him so much confidence that they would win, only emphasized by the fact he was a very experienced exorcist.

He looked up at him in the dark grey haze and cold air, a small smile settling on his lips.

"Thank you, Natori," he said involuntarily. He slipped from his tongue, and it surprised him. It surprised both of them. But Natori's surprise was brief, replaced by an expression that gently brushed his face, painting the image of perfect understanding and so, so many other flooding emotions. Then it changed again, like the most fickle thing, into something much more hard and serious. He put a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"You have to tell the Fujiwara's, Natsume," Natori whispered.

Natsume stared him painfully, knowing with every ounce of his being that he was completely right. He felt the gentle weight of the hand on his shoulder. He felt the anguished come over in waves, until he was sure he couldn't breath, and closed his eyes.

The comforting hand fell away, and Natori gasped. Natsume opened his eyes.

The man turned away, leaned on the brown wooden fence for support and almost sort of grasped his chest with his left hand, shaking all over.

Immediate concern swept over Natsume. "Natori?" He rushed to his side and rested an arm over his back, searching Natori's face, but failing as he was doing his best to obscure it and shrank away from his touch. It greatly confused him. "What is wrong?" He asked, terrified for his friend.

He was gasping as if he was in great pain one moment, and in the next Natori sighed in an almost relieved tone and slowly turned back to Natsume with a smile on his face. Natsume scrunched his eyebrows together, perplexed by such behavior.

Natori chuckled. "Sorry. We should continue, yes." He walked ahead in a leisurely manner, leaving Natsume bewildered. Truly fickle. He shook his head and caught up to him.

"He could already be aware that we're here," Natori said.

Natsume nodded gravely. "I know. He's probably expecting me." He felt sick.

Natori turned around, in a sort of smooth, quick spin. Natsume stopped walking, and regarded Natori's face as being full of surprise. "Why?" Natori asked, voice heavy with concern.

He lowers his eyes to the pavement. "He wants me to see..." Natsume's eyelids squeeze shut like a reflex, before he completes the sentence and falls apart, barely breaking the spell of reality and his thoughts flash before him, reminiscents of the nightmares he had rise to the surface, floating as an invitation to reach in the murky water and drag it out.

"He really suffered." He opens his eyes and shifts his gaze to reach Natori's, and Natori is taken aback by his words. "I believe Reiko didn't hurt him...but I know Hiso has suffered so much. He's been powerless. Now it's time for me to feel what he felt. He needs me here, he needs me to see it or his entire design falls apart."

Natori stares at him, expressionless. He turns back around quickly. "Why do you think Reiko didn't do anything?" he questions in his most evenly stitched voice.

Natsume doesn't answer for a moment. He assesses the question, feeling completely right about his answer. "Because...if she was anything like me, she probably...was attracted to him. And also..."

His breath hitched. No... " _She was nothing like you_ ," Natori says in an airy whisper, under his breath though he knows he still should have kept it to himself.

"What did you say?" Natsume asks, confused. "Nothing like what?" He takes a step closer.

"Are you attracted to sadists?" Natori asks, facetiously as he turns back to face him. His eyes narrow and his mouth forms a careless smirk. It's a familiar expression alien to Natori's features that snaps part of Natsume's soul awake. He shakes it. Automatically, Natsume's thoughts turn to Matoba and all the kisses they'd shared.

"Not sadists. Hiso is'nt a sadist. He's just..." Natsume sighs. Powerful, confused, ruthless? D, all of the above. Like Matoba. Opposites attract.

"Filled with rage," Natori finishes. "He needs a way out, and you're the perfect opening. _Perfect._ You're here to satisfy, without feeding his fire." He chuckled.

Natsume stared at him. Natori seemed strange. Something in his voice, his expression. The quiet, domestic homes around them hummed like they were live, eternally resting beasts that should not be awaken. The streets were familiar, Natori was familiar, but something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong. He felt sick again.

There was a discord in the atmosphere, hanging above him and dripping down, pooling on the ground until it was enough to drown him.

They hid in the dark, together, close to fences away from street lamps. But there was an outline in the looming man's eyes. A spark of gold lit them even in the eclipsing shadows. Golden eyes.

He felt his body num, his eyes widen with terror, his heart stop. He couldn't let his shock show. "We need to hurry," he managed to voice.

Natori raised his eyebrows, then narrowed his eyes. Natsume was pale, he had stopped breathing. He knew he knew.

He laughed. He bent over in his laughter, turning away from Natsume again and leaning on the fence for support. A wave of nausea flew over Natsume.

"That..." Natori, or whoever was pretending to be Natori, managed to speak between the heavy huffs of sick laughter. "That was quick. You figured me out." He stood up, a wide smile spreading across his face and almost glowing in the shadows like a crescent moon, accompanied by Natori's glasses like twinkling stars. He stepped closer. Natsume was frozen, heart-broken, and worst of all, he was alone.

"I should have been more subtle, I suppose, but that look on your face is soooo _perfect_ ," he purred.

Natsume struggled to find his voice. He tried speaking but nothing came out, and closed his mouth again. The stranger...with Natori's face, Natori's body. He put a hand over his mouth and looked at the ground.

Natori leaned over him, taking his chin in his hand and delicately lifted up his head. He looked into those cruel, imploring golden eyes. "Tell me who I am," he whispered.

Horror ran down his face. His vision filled with black, and then he realized he wasn't breathing. They never had a chance, did they?

He breathed heavily. "Hiso..." He let out shakily. Hiso let out a deep, stomach-twisting laugh.

He felt Natori's other hand glide up his neck, those long fingers wrapping around his throat until he was lifted roughly above the ground and slammed as harshly as possible into the fence. "Does that hurt, Natsume?" He couldn't speak, anyway. Whatever breath had been left in him was knocked out with the blow. His nails dug into Natori's hand in his vain attempt to breath. He was sorry for it, for what pain he would endure. He hoped Natori wasn't aware, that his soul was simply sleeping.

He had to get through to him. If Natori could fight him, they had a chance. "Na...tor..." He managed to weakly gasp. Hiso slammed him against the fence again and his vision was starting to go black. This was it.

Suddenly, a whizz of an arrow sailed past his head, striking the shoulder of Hiso.

Hiso screamed in pain. Natsume gasped and fell backwards, coughing then looking up in his bewildered state at the seething spirit. He rubbed his neck. There was a symbol, a marking of an exorcist, and Natsume continued to stare at the spirit who gritted his teeth and carefully pulled the arrow out. He eyes were burning with fury. He dropped the arrow, and in Natsume's building shock, time seemed to slow until the clattering echo of the bloody arrow had sounded through all the houses, as if the world had always been as silent as the sun and this was the first sound ever made.

Natori, or rather Hiso, looked up at whoever had shot it. Thoughts couldn't seem to connect in Natsume's head and it was only until he had turned to look as well did he realize Matoba had come to save him.

Of course. He didn't know many other exorcist who used a bow. Matoba had come for him.

There was a moment when their eyes met and something flashed across Matoba's gaze, and a flood of feelings overcame Natsume.

Then he looked away and loaded another arrow. He had several shiki and other exorcists there with him. He pointed it directly at Hiso.

"Tsk," he heard Hiso emit. "Exorcists. How annoying."

It was Natori's voice, not Natori's words. But Natori was in there.

"You must be the fire spirit. It seems Natori let his guard down," Matoba assumed. He steadily pointed the arrow at his head, unwavering ruthlessness in his face even with the fact that he'd be killing Natori in the process.

"Oh, you know this lowly exorcist? You must not be very good friends if you're really going to try and shoot me with those puny arrows." Undercurrents of mocking laughter splashed and splattered the edges of his voice. He had a lot of cockiness, but a lot of power to go with it.

Matoba's grip tightened. "It didn't seem so puny when you were seething in pain, now did it? I will do what I have to do..." He paused and glanced at Natsume, then looked back into the golden eyes of the fire spirit with a new, dark anger "...to protect the people I care about."

Natsume had heard those words before, words Matoba used to explain that ruthless soul of his. He stood up, and blocked Matoba's aim. He spread his arms and mirrored Matoba's resolve in defiance.

Matoba was infuriated. "What are you doing, Natsume?" Matoba demanded in deep, rough voice.

When he spoke his voice was fragile and pleading, despite his brave face. "It's Natori." His voice softened. "It's him. You'll kill-"

He was interrupted by a clapping and laughing Hiso. "Ha...how sweet. It seems we've reached an obstruction." He chuckled, and in an instant was behind Natsume, wrapping his arms around him. "I'll burn him. Just make one move."

The tension of the atmosphere had gone from ten to twenty. Even Matoba's expression slightly changed. He felt Natori's lips against his ear. "You're a fool, Natsume," he whispered cruelly. "All your friends, your family, will die tonight because of you." His hands slid up his waist. "Is this a familiar feeling, Natsume? I only guess because you and that black-haired exorcist seem to smell of each other." He said it loud enough this time so Matoba would hear, and Matoba's face held a deep, insatiable bloodlust.

Natsume wanted to let tears roll down his cheeks, despite the wonderfully satisfaction it would give Hiso. Hope was fleeting. Hiso was threatening to kill him here and now. Suddenly, his mind stilled, and he remembered the whole reason Hiso had wanted him here.

He turned his head to somewhat meet the golden eyes. "You won't kill me, will you? What would be the point, then?"

He felt Hiso's chest rise, but Natori smiled nonetheless. "I didn't say I'd kill you. I said I'd burn you."

Natsume shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I'm still alive." He discretely slid his hand to his pocket. The fact that Natori's clothes were loose on him benefitted the situation. He didn't have to move that much to reach the seal in his pocket.

"You really are a foolish boy. How about I burn your face"? He loosened his hold to reach Natsume's cheek and at that moment Natsume took the seal in his hand and slapped it on Natori's face. He heard a sizzling sound and the spirit screamed.

"AAAARGGH!" He momentarily let go and Natsume fell to the pavement. Matoba raised his arrow and pulled back the string, not wasting his time to shoot straight at his chest. Hiso saw this, and disappeared into thin air. The arrow hit the fence, and Natsume's pounding heart settled, until he looked at Matoba again.

Matoba stood over him, and gave him his hand. So many wild thoughs and emotions rushed through him. He didn't realize he wasn't breathing until he felt Matoba's hand under his own supporting him up so he stood before him.

"That was very stupid of you." He was angry. He had every right to be.

Natsume looked everywhere except Matoba's face. What could he say? He hadn't put his trust in Matoba and ran away from him, but he came to save him.

"I'm sorry," he decided to whisper. It felt correct to say, and it was completely sincere. "Thank you for coming to help me."

Matoba grabbed both of Natsume's arms, pulling him closer, his gaze imploring. "Come back with me, after all of this is taken care of. Let me protect you, Takashi," he whispered.

He used his first name. Natsume pressed himself against Matoba and held him close. Matoba sighed into his soft hair and wrapped his arms around Natsume. "I can't," Natsume whispered. "I need to know the Fujiwara's and Natori are alright, before anything else. Please help me, Matoba."

Matoba backed out to look at Natsume. "Don't worry Natsume. That fire spirit's power won't work in this weather."

Natsume looked at him, confused and questioning. "What weather?"

He looked up to the sky, where a bolt of lightning suddenly lit up the outline of dark clouds.

A drop of rain fell on his lips, and he looked back at Matoba, who leaned in with a starry gaze and kissed him, unable to help it.

Natsume realized something on a rainy day in November. Fire spirits hate rain.


	15. Goodbyes

I am the lowest scum of the Earth, I know, but I finally updated and I hope no one wants to kill me. I have some great ideas, but I still have to figure how I am supposed to go about writing them so I'll updated in a year. I'm kidding it's only going to be six months. Also, I redid the morning after scene (ch. 10) so uh...it's not really rambling and it's a bit more real I suppose I should say. Any spelling/ grammar mistakes let me know ASAP. Looking at you, Lael. Enjoy this stab-you-in-the-feels chapter you're all gonna cry.

* * *

Natsume walked with his head low, gazing at the cracks in the pavement until his thoughts blurred his vision and took over his mind. Matoba's hand gently brushed his arm and Natsume's head turned to lock eyes with that man. That man who saved him once again.

They stopped walking altogether when Matoba took his other arm and forced Natsume to face him, something Matoba did when he was about to try and shove another perspective into his impenetrable head."Do you realize what a close call that was, Natsume? Natori is just an amateur exorcist and let himself be taken over, because he's weak. He doesn't have proper training. If you joined me you would know how to block possession. That's just basic precaution."

Natsume heard the mocking tone in Matoba's voice and couldn't stand it. He didn't even want to look at Matoba right then and tried to pull away from his firm hold, vainly, as Matoba could be as stubborn as Natsume. Maybe even more so at times. Natsume hated him, and didn't hate him.

"How can you look down on him like that? He was willing to risk so much to help me..." Natsume trailed off. He was afraid his voice would break, or that some part of him would break if he kept thinking about it, like a violin string stretched too tight. It was his fault, and he sees it. There it is. The music dies and leaves behind a corpse of silence.

"He couldn't help you Natsume," Matoba said, raising his hand to capture the rain on Natsume's cheek. There was rain on Matoba's cheek too, and it looked like he had been crying. Natsume realized, then, that he probably looked the same.

"He's my friend." Natsume paused, realizing something. "How do you know him, anyway?"

He looked surprised. Matoba sighed. "Well, we are both part of exorcist families...at least, he used to be until they had a bit of a falling out." He couldn't help but smirk. "We were bound to meet eventually, since he wanted to be an exorcist." His smirk fell flat, and he looked into Natsume's eyes.

A question struck Natsume, and he whispered it, a little afraid to ask. "Were you two friends?"

Matoba let a bitter laugh roll out to disappear like the mist. "Friends? No, we weren't anything. We've been looking in different directions. I'm quite different from him, I always was."

Natsume just nodded, letting silence settle down. He wondered if Matoba had any friends at all. Was he alone? Did he even care about that? He probably wasn't the type too care about anything except his clan, his reputation...his power. All these things he was born to deal with. He was lost in a sea Natsume couldn't pull him out of. Then again...wasn't there something he cared about? Didn't he say he wanted to protect something?

"Matoba..." Natsume began, unsure how to say it. He tenderly pulled at Matoba's sleeve.

Matoba looked down at Natsume's hand, then looked up to meet his gaze. An arm snaked around Natsume's waist and pulled him close with a sudden and considerable force. Natsume gasped.

"Natsume." Matoba said with a smile, in a tone that suggested he was making fun of him.

Natsume felt his cheeks warm up. "Please," he said, "help me find Natori."

Matoba's smile broadened like a waxing half-moon. Natsume asked him for help. That was all he cared about.

"As you wish," he said. "But do tell me, where are your other friends, Natsume?"

Natsume knew what he was trying to suggest. "Waiting for me," he answered defensively. He pulled out of Matoba's hold. And turned away.

Matoba's smile disappeared. "Fine. But I need to know you're ready to get rid of Hiso."

Natsume's eyes widened. He turned around. "You mean kill him, right?"

Matoba nodded.

Natsume looked at the dark sky, thinking carefully. "When I completely understood that all Hiso wanted was revenge for something my grandmother did to him, all I felt was hope. If it's for revenge then there's good in him."

Matoba scoffed. Natsume turned his head away, prepared for the ridicule. "My, how idealistic you are."

Matoba's voice wasn't able to stay at its usual cool and level tone, not with Natsume. Nothing seemed to make them angrier than each other, and yet more than ever Natsume needed him, and Matoba was completely unwilling to let Natsume go.

Matoba's blood boiled. Nothing could get through Natsume's stubborn head. He grit his teeth and roughly grabbed Natsume by the arm. "Listen to me, Natsume. There isn't a way that you can possibly try and stay here after this, after everything that's befallen you. You think that what you're doing is kind and is the right thing? What you've already done by staying here, letting ayakashi into your home is worse than possibly interrupting their peace because of the truth, the truth that they deserve. If you really believe, with all your heart, that these people love you, then tell them right now since you're here!" He yelled harshly, his words biting and hurting with frustration pounding away on every beat that filled his cracking heart.

Natsume was on the verge of tears. He was shaking his head.

"I need to see if the Fujiwara's are okay. Apparently there are several protective seals, so we have time," Natsume uttered. His voice wavered, for just a simple second a thought passed that he might never see them again. He shook the feeling. It had been so many days after all, and his worried thoughts were a constant hovering cloud.

He ran to his home, knowing the conversation wasn't over but running anyway, and Matoba followed with ease. The rain started falling harder in the short run, and Natsume wasn't sure if he should let Matoba wait outside. He hated the thought of him getting near his family. How would he explain? He slowed down when he rounded a corner, and saw a familiar tree, a familiar roof. He was actually home.

Time slowed and feelings rushed. Matoba stopped behind him, waiting to see what Natsume would do.

He avoided Matoba's exasperated and raging gaze and instead looked at the gate to his home. It wasn't supposed to be this way. "No. There has to be something else," he says, unwilling and refusing to let them see what he really went through every day.

There was a long pause. Matoba grinded his teeth together, thinking carefully. "Okay," he finally said.

Natsume met his gaze, slightly surprised. Matoba sighed and spoke again. "I'm sure you at least understand that this won't be the last time a spirit tries to harm you and your family, and I'm positive it isn't the first, is it?"

"Matoba..." he said warningly. Natsume clenched a fist, anger simmering under the surface. Matoba held up a hand and spoke calmly, however, with a soft voice to keep his frustration at bay.

Matoba's lip twitched upward, a sure sign he was pleased about something. "Unless you tell your family that you see ayakashi, then you must come and live with me."

There was silence. Natsume stared, mildly shocked.

"There's no thinking or pondering or escaping this one, Natsume. Make the decision now."

Rain splashed and splattered the ground, surrounding them with a silencing sound of what had impressioned Natsume's perspective since he was small to be trapping, to be lonely and cold and waiting for people who he always was made to feel like he was burdening. The story of his life repeats like a vicious circle, for here he stands, in front of a gate he opened and closed and called his own. His home, that he'd opened the gate to, and knowingly let ayakashi follow him through. The circle come's back, he sees it coming like a train about to hit him, unable to stop. He swallows hard. He closes his eyes, and reaches for the gate with all the longing in his heart spreading free. He will miss them.

There is at least some finality, Natsume thinks. But he's sure he will be lonely.

He looks up at Matoba, mustering the sentence with his smallest voice. "Alright...I'll come with you."

He knew he was finally home. Finally, and yet in this moment of still joy, it became a bittersweet sight. After all this time, struggling to return to a place where he was accepted, he was letting go of people he loved. He was letting go of this dream. This beautiful dream.

Matoba is expressionless. He simply nods, then looks over past the now wet and muddy yard and stares up at the warm and yellow windows, eye trailing down to the front door.

"It's a bit wet out here. Won't you invite me in?" Matoba says with a smirk. His long black hair is dripping wet, and so is his robe, but Natsume glares at him anyway, irked at how he can't just make him wait.

Natsume sighs, and walks right on up to his home. "Just...don't say anything," he says calmly as Matoba follows. He was about to slide the open, when Matoba grabbed him by the arm.

"What are you-"

"Wait, Natsume. You have to let them know this is goodbye. They can't have the desire to look for you," Matoba said.

Natsume felt like his heart had been ripped out, but he understood. "What do you want me to do?"

Matoba was quiet. Natsume tried to not cry. Then with the calmest whisper, Matoba said, "Hit them where it hurts."

Natsume was really trying to hold it together. He had to be strong. He had to be strong for them. And he would be harsh.

He slid the door open, the smell of dinner reaching him as he wet the wooden floors with rain. The drops splattered behind him as he cautiously walked down the corridor to the stairs. He was going to get a few things before he left.

He snuck past some rooms, making his way up the stairs as if he was a burglar. As if this wasn't his home, and he knew that now it wasn't.

He was shivering, and held himself for warmth. Natsume looked behind, and Matoba's patient, victorious face looked back. His spirit sank, still unsure if this was right.

The truth was, he wasn't sure what he would say. He knew these people. He knew their kindness, and he would rip their hearts out because they would never know his world. Was that fair to them? Natsume traversed the hall to the entrance of his room. He stood outside it, for some reason, unable to move.

Perhaps it wasn't about fairness. Perhaps it wasn't just about their safety either...

It was...

Natsume slid open his door, taking in the once-familiar sight. His home, but not where he belonged? Not where he belongs, never. Never in these stranger's homes and not in the hands that are so ready to let him drop and shatter.

He wasn't a total fool. They where different. They might love him. He didn't have to be broken anymore.

Natsume got a duffle bag, stuffing clothes and sentimental items he'd been given by spirits or friends. He didn't take what he was sure Matoba would provide. He tried not to leave a part of himself here. He hoped they would forget him soon.

Natsume was still when he reached the bottom of the stairs. His legs felt weak. The Fujiwara's didn't even know the danger they were in.

He swallowed, stepping quietly on the wood.

Touko appeared down the hall, stopping suddenly when she saw water on the floor in front of her. Her eyes followed the trail, leading to Natsume. Their eyes met, just for a moment before Touko broke the silence, with a face of joy that quickly turned into passionate, motherly fury.

"NATSUME!"

His heart felt warm. It softened as she embraced him. He refused to hug her back.

She pulled away, her hands still on his arms. "You must be freezing," she said as she looked him up and down. "Whose clothes are these?" She pulled at the loose-fitting sweater.

Natsume looked at Touko's face, taking in every detail of her face, and of those sweet eyes he would leave behind. "Natori's..." His voice was a broken whisper, filled with pain when he thought of his friend, lost and alone because of him..

"Natori?" Touko looked confused. She noticed the duffle bag in Natsume's hand and pointed at it. "Why do you have that, Natsume?"

He closed his eyes. He took a deep breath in. Break her heart.

He opened his eyes again. He looked at her with disdain, and she was taken aback.

"Because I hate it here! I hate how you pretend to be a mother. It's not my fault you don't have any kids. It doesn't give you the right to tell me what to do. You don't own me, and you don't know me!"

Touko's mouth hung open. Shigeru appeared after turning the corner. He paused, staring at the two of them, trying to analyze what was going on. "Natsume? What's going on I heard yelling?" He stood by Touko's side, rubbing her shoulder.

"I'm going to live somewhere else. Somewhere I _belong._ I hate being here, with people who act like I'm their son or something. I don't have my real parents..." He was sobbing, wiping away tears. He bolted past them roughly, but Shigeru caught his elbow. He tried escaping, but he had a firm grip.

Shigeru's face was so confused. "What are you saying? We..." He looked at Touko, and back at Natsume. "We love you, Natsume."

Natsume stopped. He couldn't look either of them in the eye. He hid his face with his bangs, letting the tears roll down. This was too much.

"Just stop! I don't want a couple of replacements. I'm sick of forcing myself. I hate both of you!" He screamed an octave higher.

Shigeru's hand dropped from his arm as if he'd electrocuted him. Natsume turned away from their shocked, wounded faces and headed for the entrance.

"Natsume..." Touko sobbed.

Matoba was still waiting for him in the same spot, unmoved. His arms were crossed, and he was looking at Natsume's face, analyzing, wondering. He held out his hand, and Natsume took it, leaving the beautiful world a thousand miles behind.


	16. Guide Me Now, Gently

Natsume felt blind. All the clarity of his life had suddenly disappeared. Everything had been fine just a few days ago but now he was in a fog and couldn't take any steps without a fear of falling into some strange abyss.

So he let Matoba guide him. He wasn't aware of much at the moment, except Matoba's familiar hand in his, helping him to the end of the lawn and past the gate. He felt void, empty, and couldn't focus on the present-if this even was the present. It didn't feel real. None of this felt real, but Natsume knew, deep down, that this is all his life was. It was all it ever had been.

"...sume...Natsume?"

He felt the full force of reality smack him into the present. He was in the back of a car, and Matoba was next to him. Natsume met Matoba's intensely sharp stare, then looked away again. His eyes glazed over as he unconsciously stared past the rain-streaked glass and at whatever saturated, blurry light trailed by. The hollowness he felt settled in. They didn't speak for a long time and passed by familiar streets and signs.

Natsume was vaguely aware of the tremors in his hand caused by the aftershock. He passively gripped the leather seat, needing something to ground him. He saw Matoba's figure move closer from the corner of his eye and heard the slide of his damp clothes against the leather. A warm hand carefully fell over his shaking one.

He was here, with Matoba. He would be with him for a long time.

The first tear rolled down his cheek. It all hit him at once. He wanted to go back- just back to them. He had felt happiness there, a happiness he wasn't used to, but he had let himself settle into it. He let himself accept it. It took so much time to ravel himself in it, and now he completely unraveled it. He let that happiness go. What if he made the wrong choice? What was Matoba going to do with him now?

He felt the back of Matoba's fingers gently wipe away the remorseful tears. So gentle. He was sure Matoba wouldn't always be like this. He liked his force; Natsume was filled with resistance.

Natsume could finally turn to look at him. Matoba reciprocated with a steady gaze, one laced with watchfulness...and behind that, concern? Matoba was really looking at him, examining every part as if he was looking past the eyes and into his skull. His hand was still on his cheek, and moved down to his neck to brush and intertwine his fingers with Natsume's hair.

"You have so much potential, Natsume. So much that I can't see you waste. I'm sorry."

Natsume blinked. Did Matoba just apologize? "Sorry for what?"

Matoba's lips gently curled. Barely a smile, but it was there. "That you had to let go of them. They're good people, but they don't belong in your world. In our world."

Natsume stared at him a moment longer and relaxed. Then he looked away again. "Our world," he echoed quietly. Natsume felt another caress on his hair before Matoba pulled away his hand. He looked out into the rainy world, eyes tracing the watery reflective streets. He discovered another side of Matoba. He was more complicated than Natsume thought. Maybe Natsume brought out that caring part of him; maybe he was changing Matoba. Maybe Matoba was changing him.

Water droplets pattered the glass, acting as a natural sedative. Natsume was tired, and tried not to think about choices. Tried not to think about if the Fujiwara's would take him back, if they would still love him if they knew. His head leaned against the window and his eyes faltered until his lids fell heavily. He let the world roll away, and dreams took him.

They pulled up to the same mansion as before, Natsume still asleep. Servants with umbrellas waited outside. Matoba didn't want to disurb Natsume, which was ridiculous. He felt sorry, which was...even more ridiculous. He cared about him, and that realization alone was paralyzing. He looked at Natsume with his head leaning against the window and his chest rising and falling peacefully. He had to look away and forcefully opened his door. The servant on his side sheltered him while they stood at a good distance, getting drenched. Matoba left his door open and left the servant behind to close it while he rushed around to the other side to gently open Natsume's door. He unbuckled him with care and Natsume was roused. He tiredly looked at Matoba and rubbed his eyes but Matoba shushed him and picked him up, carrying him into the house while their drenched umbrella servant kept up.

"Matoba..." Natsume murmured.

"Please, Natsume. Rest." Matoba carried him up the stairs and Natsume's head fell back on Matoba's arm, exposing his neck. Matoba stared at it, at his vulnerable state. He laid Natsume down, not bothering to take Natsume back to his guest room, but to his own. He was a selfish person, and in his mind this is where Natsume belonged, and always would.

Matoba undressed Natsume with little protest from the boy, and changed him into clean and dry clothes. He did the same for himself and crawled under the sheets, pulling Natsume closer and inhaling his scent. For now, that was all he needed.

Natori was in a forest. The air was so hot it burned his lungs as he breathed, being pushed onto the forest floor and every wave of fire swept him off his feet. He gasped and gagged. If this was real, he would be dead. But this was all Hiso. He was torturing him. It wasn't just the physical pain.

His father looked down at him, lying on the dirt.

"You'll never be a real exorcist. You're just embarrasing us and bringing us harm."

Natori laughed and coughed up blood. The heat was searing him. It's not real it's not real it's not real.

His father leaned down closer to his face, filled with disgust at his son. Natori looked at him steadily. "I'm dead because of you," he whispered.

Come on, that can't be your worst.

The fire in the trees rose and grew hotter. Hiso was angry. He'd been torturing him, and Natori had been fighting. He wasn't letting him in his head. Natori had never experienced anything like it. This could be hell, if there was one.

Even though he was displaying confidence and retaliation he was almost ready to break. He knew he was possesed. If they had to kill him in the process of stopping Hiso so be it, he thought.

He knew Natsume would find him.


End file.
